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Very Low Self Esteem

Self Esteem & Shyness

Ask the Therapist
Jul 3 2011, 04:32
  • atrumsentenia Contributor

    -1 +1

    I am 44 years old and I have very low self esteem. I am also an abuse servivor. I am verbally abused by my hubby and tend to put myself down alot to make him look good. I agree with what he says most of the time I just try and pretend it does not bother me. I stick my head head in the sand. Just pretend it does not happen. The thing about it is I stopped caring one way or another. I know I can't change him. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I am not even going to try. I just let him verbally abuse me and thing its the way it should be as I have done all my life. Its true i have very low self esteem and self worth is I have none. As I have been brought up that way. I am useless. My friends on pal talk try and convince me otherwise. I feel I can't do anything right. I have been taught this at a very young age and I still belive it the damage is already done as been this way ever since I can remember. What can say if anything to my hubby or my friends. I know I am shy and withdrawn. I perfer to be alone. I like being isolated and alone. I am used to it. I was always ignored by others or they just hated me. I accept it. I guess that history repeats itself. I live it at that.
  • tami Newbie

    -1 +1

    Sep 26 2011, 18:20
    I dont believe you except and I dont believe you like it this way. Thats why your on here wanting to break out of it right. I lived 15 years with a verbally abusive husband and before that since I was the only "fat" child my father had, I was condemned for that. You do get used to it though that I agree with. And it does damage that is terribly hard to overcome. Ive been divorced for 4 years and still to this day if I guy comments me in anyway, well I think he's crazy, I have told a few they needed there eyes checked. And a few I have a mirror and I dont like being lied to cause I know what I look like. My ex always told me noone else would have me, that I was lucky he wanted me. I felt like nothing. He left me for a girl 15 years younger than him. I have since looked at this girl when we exchange the kids for the weekend and I see the same stress in her face as I used to have in mine. This same girl who prior to her relationship to him was a very self confident motivated girl is turning into a self doubting hoping she isnt dissappointing him person. I feel so terrible sorry for her. I didnt see him changing me, because I was used to it but I do see him changing her. Please listen when I tell you. You are worth more than you will ever know. You are who you think you are and you can do anything you believe you can. Believe in yourself. When noone else does you can. Your on this earth because your valuable. Take small steps if you have to but take a step make yourself do it. I'm still taking mine, the man I am with now knows how I feel about being called beatiful so he adjust and says beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in my eyes your the most beautiful woman in the world. And I believe that when he says it, even though Im conditioned not to I can see honesty in his eyes. What you feel inside emits through you. Believe you are and you will be. Just take a step.
  • GodsTear Senior User

    -1 +1

    Oct 22 2011, 00:01
    atrumsentenia,

    How have you been feeling up to this point?