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This is going to be a weird topic...

Self Esteem & Shyness

Ask the Therapist
Aug 22 2013, 00:56
  • LAA Newbie

    -1 +1

    I wasn't really sure where to put this. I guess it kind of falls into self-esteem, since I pretty much hate myself for this...

    I am an AB. For those that don't know what that is, it stands for "Adult Baby". It's exactly what you might imagine; I wear diapers, suck on pacifiers, and drink out of bottles... yep. It's a stress reliever, and it's not sexual for me, as it is sometimes for others.

    The problem is: I hate it. More specifically, I hate me for it. I hate myself when I indulge it, but if I don't, I get extremely stressed and I get the urge to do it. Like a stick being jammed into my brain. So it's either be stabbed in the head forever, or do it and hate myself.

    Now, I'm not hurting anyone with it. It has nothing to do with children, as is so often assumed. It's not exactly "normal", but it doesn't harm anyone. Still, I can't stand myself for it, but I can't shake it either. I've tried. Many times.

    I already have bad social anxiety which can often lead to periods of depression for me. Having me hate myself all the time doesn't help.

    I don't know if anyone has any advice or experience with this, and honestly, I'd be shocked if you did. But I suppose it's worth a shot.

    Thanks.
  • earthchild Contributor

    -1 +1

    Nov 7 2013, 22:40
    while this is a strange disorder that i've never heard of, i think you are no stranger than most people. everyone has something weird about them. nobody is perfect. and you aren't hurting anyone. although i don't know how to solve your problem, i think it might be rooted back to your baby-hood. it's something that babies do, and they do it for comfort. i'm a mother, so i DO know that much. maybe something traumatic happened when you were a baby and you needed the comfort? maybe it was lack of human interaction? not being held or cuddled as a baby might have made you more attached to the things that comforted you. my bottle-fed baby was glued to her binky, while my breastfed baby wouldn't even take one.

    i know you say it has nothing to do with kids, but maybe subconsciously it has something to do with the comfort it gave you. how are you doing socially? do you interact well with others, have normal relationships? do you have any close relationships? what about your relationships with your parents? have you done this your whole life?

    i'm sorry i can't be of any more help, but i don't know much on the subject. however, i am a good listener, and i'll even do some research to (maybe) help you figure this out. just hang in there, you are a person worthy of love, acceptance, and a normal life! :)
  • KCal Newbie

    -1 +1

    Nov 26 2016, 23:17
    Everyone deals with stress in different ways. Because your approach works for you but there is the down side of how you feel about it perhaps you could continue your current approach while also incorporating another technique like meditation or positive self talk and self affection. Give yourself what you wish others had/would. Keep trying new approaches that you feel are acceptable to you until you find something that works. There is a solution but like all rewarding things in life you will have to put in the time, effort and commitment. You are worth it.
  • Kiah Newbie

    -1 +1

    Oct 11 2018, 02:09
    Hello LAA,

    I am sorry that you are struggling so much with this. I am not a therapist or professional in any way, however, I really do like to try to help others as much as possible. I can understand where you are coming from in "hating yourself" for this, however, you shouldn't because this is your way of managing stress.

    Maybe try speaking to a doctor about this condition, as you could discover that there is an explaination behind why this is such a comfort to you. If you don't feel comfortable with/ have already done this then perhapse you could look into alterior stress relievers.

    For example: you mentioned that you suck on pacifiers and drink from bottles because it helps to relieve stress. I would think that the comfort here would be the sucking motion, as it is required in both actions. I believe there are things called "stim toys" or "chewables" or something along those lines that individuals with Autism would use for this kind of stimulation. I am not at all trying to indicate whether you are an individual with Autism, as I do not have any authority to do so. I am merely trying to help with suggestions that may help detour you from the habits that bother you, while still maintaining the comfort mechanism.

    Unfortunately, I can not think of an alterior vic for the diaper wearing at the moment. If it is only for comfort, and not for the intentional use of a diaper... then perhapse you could find some other way to find this comfort, however, you would need to be able to identify what this comfort actually is before being able to find a suppliment.

    I hope that this has been at least a little bit helpful, and I wish you the best of luck.

    Please rememebr that you are never alone, and you truy do deserve to be loved.