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Post-Trauma Stress Disorder

Ask the Therapist
Mar 14 2012, 02:04
  • I am nineteen years old. When I was very young I was raped. Ever since then, I haven't been able to let things go. Almost five years ago, I started dating this guy and just recently had a baby. Two days before she was born, he left me. Two months later, he decided he didn't want her either. Now he's homeless, dating some highschool girl and doing drugs. She's four months old now. Ever since he left, I've been very angry. So angry that I feel that I might hurt him. I've never been this angry in my life and I feel it every second of every day. I can't cry and I can't let it out. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't work without panicking or keep my house clean. My fears keep me from letting me care about anyone but my daughter. People keep telling me that it will get easier with time, but they don't understand. Nothing ever gets easier for me. It hurts just as bad as it did when it happened. People who don't have this disorder just don't get it. I no longer have any feelings toward him like I used to. It's like I've moved on from him, but the anger and pain that he caused by leaving us is still there. I'm just not sure where to go from here. Any advice will be helpful.
  • Denise Contributor

    -1 +1

    Mar 15 2012, 02:45
    I won't say I understand you because I don't. But don't think that you're alone. There are tons of people in this world like us that have so many things just not going right. My advice is that you tell that guy how angry you are at him for leaving you and your daughter. If you can't say it face-to-face, write it down as a letter. the important thing I think is that you need to process your anger. Get it out and send it to him. Don't worry about whether he'll accept it or listen to it. What's important is that you deal with what's bothering you so that you will be able to get rid some, if not all, of that anger.
    Then, do something else to release the stress. Buy a punching bag and release your frustrations on the punching bag.
    After that, just think of you and your child. Life right now might not be the best, but it's not the worst. Plus, you can make it better for both you and your child.
    • Mar 15 2012, 18:09
      I've tried those things. But thank you so much for replying. There is one thing that I really want to do again, I did it once before when I went to a mental health hospital. EMDR trauma therapy. It's the only thing that's ever worked. Before I went there, even though I had to been to another hospital twice, I had never considered that I was dealing with trauma. I was confused and then when I went in, I understood why I couldn't let anything go. I know that things aren't as bad as they could be, but maybe if I can learn to deal with this or even get rid of it, I can be happier. And again, thank you for replying. It's such a relief to be able to relate to people, and even if they don't understand, at least they try to and that means a lot to me.
      • Denise Contributor

        -1 +1

        Mar 15 2012, 18:48
        Do get that therapy again. If it helped before, it wouldn't hurt to try it again. Just don't give up on trying to be better. That's what I'm doing too. I figured that I need help but others need help as well so if I help someone then someone out there can help me too. And then in the process I'll get better as well.
        Like what others say, life is not easy. It definitely is not easy, but it doesn't mean it can't get better.
        Hope you feel better now.