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Sexual Assault

Post-Trauma Stress Disorder

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Jan 5 2013, 08:06
  • xena0025 Insightful User

    -1 +1

    I suffer from complex ptsd that has been already determined. One of my flashbacks have to do with when I was sexually assaulted by one of my ex-husbands best freinds. I often question whether it was my fault and sometimes even believe it was. The night in question I had been drinking very heavily with this couple and when I got home the man assaulted me with an object. I don't remember everything but I do remember him saying to me that he would make the decision for me if I could not do it myself. I keep hearing it over and over in my head. For a long period of time I had little bits of memory come back to me until it all did. It was very disturbing to me. It was one of the reasons why I lost the love of my life. I was very much in love with my husband. Somehow I feel like I had cheated on him. I even told him everything about the event later when it came back to me. He blamed me for everything also. He was still best freinds with the man who assaulted me. I really don't understand how he could. I guess it is for the better that we did not stay together. He was very abusive and narcissistic from the start. The love I felt for him was kind of wrong anyway. The thing that bothers me the most of all of this is that no one beleives me. Everyone I told seems to think it was all my fault.