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Sep 9 2011, 01:53
  • deargirl Newbie

    -1 +1

    I'm having a hard time trusting my boyfriend. We have been seeing each other long distance for about 2 years now and officially dating for 6 months. I have just relocated about a month ago back to my hometown and his current residence. We are living together in an apartment with his friend and his friend's girlfriend. Everything is going pretty well -- a few hiccups here and there about situational things but we are both fairly mature and are able to discuss things without arguing (thus far). My boyfriend though is an attractive man and works at a bar as a bouncer (which I don't particularly care for). He's also a student and owns his own company. He's very successful and well-liked. He is pretty egocentric and loves to be the center of attention though, which can be a little irritating. Since moving back I've been finding myself feeling insecure and upset. I feel as though I need his attention almost constantly whereas previously I have been pretty self confident and happy on my own. I find myself questioning (internally) whether he is interested in other women or what he is doing. I'm not sure where the shift occurred but I feel like I am slipping back into my old relationship habits of wanting constant approval and affection. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to accept him as he is, embrace the beautiful relationship that we have, and let the neurosis go. I believe him to be deserving of my trust and love; and therefore, I think it's important for me to not let these insecurities go. Please help
  • Arielle7777 Newbie

    -1 +1

    Feb 5 2012, 16:07
    I know how you feel. I was never insecure about our relationship before (we have been together for a year and 3 months and have been living together for a year now). Lately I have been feeling so insecure about myself and our relationship and thinking that he's going to get sick of me and find someone better...this is a horrible feeling and logically there is no reason I should be feeling this way. He has always treated me well and we still have a great relationship so why am I feeling this way? My boyfriend is also very attractive and girls have thrown themselves at him in the past. I want to stop worrying and realize that he wouldn't be with me if he didn't want to be and wouldn't be looking at new apartments for us to move into when our lease is up, which he has been doing. What is my problem? I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Have you had this happen in a past relationship? What did you do to get over it that time?
  • Blanca16 Newbie

    -1 +1

    Aug 1 2012, 01:58
    DearGirl, On personal response I would have to say you have a catch of a boyfriend. I understand you may have insecurities; in every relationship there are insecurities. But I believe if you speak openheartedly he himself will answer your questions honestly since you are being honest with your feelings towards him. Cummunication is key to a healthy relationship where you both may share certain conversations such as insecurities reguarding the relationship, your home, & others issues that may surface within time. I hope this has helped.
  • nanabug Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jan 9 2013, 05:56
    I guess this is the group. My problem is with my Ex boyfriend who i have a baby with :/ We met august of 2011, lived together from the very first time we met. Now i caused him a lot of pain i was not a very good person then but i changed. we met when me and my mom got into an argument and she hit me, i moved in with a friend and met him. me and a friend both moved into his apartment with him and his roommate (who ended up being her boyfriend) My ex had a girlfriend at the time. wouldn't tell her i was living there or go see her no matter how much i tried to convince him to go see her, one day he came home and was pretty upset he took the picture of them off the fridge and through it away i went to go talk to him but he was just to upset. i figured they broke up, but i wasn't for sure about it. a couple days later we went to a birthday party and he was talking to some friend about their break up...thats how i found out. a few weeks later we started dating, now like i said i was a bad person all i wanted was attention and when he didn't give it too me or i thought i wasn't getting enough i found someone who would. i wouldn't say i slept with everyone because i didn't just flirted so they would tell me i was beautiful or pretty. Finally i couldnt find a job so i asked antonio to send me away, he paid $100 to buy a bus ticket for 300 miles away. i was there for maybe a week before i asked him to come get me. I cried when i got on the bus because i didn't want to go, but i knew i wasn't doing him any good staying around :( i met up with an old friend i use to know and we went out, stuff happened and i ended up getting rug burn on my leg. when antonio drove all the way over there to get me i was so ashamed of what i had done i told him my nieces and i were playing and i got my leg. he bought me bandaids and alcohol for the rug burn, a few weeks later he found out what they were really from and stopped talking to me (even though we lived together) finally he forgave me and we were "working" on our relationship. November of 2011 we had to leave the apartment couldn't afford it anymore. so we went to his moms. Again i felt like antonio was ignoring me so i wanted more attention i got ahold of an old friend i use to know and we went out a few times. December 2nd, 2011 i found out i was pregnant and stopped all my foolish, immature behavior. i was still texting some guy friends but i wasn't ding anything i use to. During the week of christmas my ex and i got in a fight and "Broke up" i didn't mean to actually break up i was trying to make him think i was to see if he would ask me to stay or tell me he loves me instead he tried getting ahold of the girl he was dating when i came along. the next three days after that fight he was disappearing at night and i had no idea where he was. he would come back home and finally i asked him, he said he was with her. i told him things were different now that i was pregnant and we were a family, and i didn't want him talking to her. in january of 2012 we went to the doctors to hear the baby's heart beat, that day he held my hand told me he loved me and that he needed to go talk to her to tell her he was getting back with me. That night i heard my phone ring so i answered it and it was him (he butt called me) i heard her saying how horny she was, so i hung up really fast. i started crying so hard, i called him back and asked him he said he didn't know what i was talking about because he didn't do anything. i hung up, when he got home and told me they were doing stuff, i cried and cried. We talked for a bit then he asked me out, i figured if i said no i would lose him forever and so i said yes. I quit talking to all males but him, deleted all contacts out of my phone and focused all my attention on him and making him happy, things were good. a few months later i woke up to the laptop open so i turned it on and found a love letter he wrote her while i was sleeping, i cried so hard that night, he told me he only wrote it because he felt lonely, because he had no friend or anyone to talk to. a few months later i found another one he said its just you me and the baby i swear i'm not talking to her she means nothing to me. Finally i decided to look through his mail and found 5 months of email he had lied about. the entire time we were together he told me he wasn't talking to her had no contact with her didn't care about her nothing. in june 2012 the day before i started work he ran off with her to the beach. i called him 60 times, i went over to her moms house and cried. her mom was so nice and talked with me. finally he called me back the next day and came back. he told me they had sex 10 times and all this other stuff. he continued to try to have sex with me even after all of that. He said he wasn't talking to her again after that, in august we had the baby a beautiful little girl. everything was perfect, or so i thought. after my daughter was born he started talking to her again, then he stopped. in september of 2012 we moved into our own place, we were a family. Until he decided to talk to her again and now he is still talking to her trying to be with her and telling her he can't live without her while i sit here and rot inside :/ he doesn't care how i feel or how any of this is affecting me. he calls me a whore, puts his hand on my throat when he gets mad, and slaps me in the face. i stuck around so my daughter would have a dad and now i'm done!! i'm not putting myself or my daughter through this anymore my daughter is now 5 months old and i have finally gained the courage to leave! to better myself and my baby!
  • DaphneIrons Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jan 15 2013, 19:57
    Well, this is definitely my group. I met my boyfriend a few days before my birthday and since then he's been there. Now his ex girlfriend tried ruining our relationship for the first two months and now she backed off. Now there's this other girl. I've hated her since I can remember. Probably since we were kids. I hate her because she always gets what she wants. Ergo, she got my boyfriend. I didn't want to believe it until I saw it one day. They were making out and stuff and he kept saying that she kissed him. To be honest, I don't know what to believe!
  • Alex Newbie

    -1 +1

    Feb 23 2013, 04:38
    Well.. my boyfriend just broke up with me, it was the best relationship iv ever had, and the brake up wasnt anything about me.. if it was mabie it would be easyr to accept and move on. He left me for a girl he dated half a year ago over the internet, that hes never meet, they were together for close to a year, i thought he might have liked me enough to at least give me a chance, he said im a close bestfriend to him, but he just loves her, it hurts alot, he was just with me to help with my depression because he felt bad, isnt that wrong..? He has his whole future pland out with someone hes never really meat..he left me a cupple days ago now, and i havent eaten, left bed, sleped, in days, he wants to help and he feels bad, its not compleetly his fault i feelt like this befor him, im just going back to what i was like befor, sence he was the only thing that made me happy, thats not wrong, somthin makes you happy then your happy you cant controol that. Iv just been depresed and not wanting to do anything. I have a horrible attitude towrds everything, and hes just trying to help now. But i just dont wan tto do anything. What exactly is wrong with me.