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Narcississm Addiction

Co-dependency

Ask the Therapist
Jul 21 2017, 08:20
  • Chris71 Newbie

    -1 +1

    I am a female 45 years young and have been involved with someone who I believe is a narcissist. I sent them a Facebook message days ago telling them they are dumped and why. I blocked them. I am so fed up with their games and lack of empathy. This narc was emotionally abusing me and starting to get physical with me, pinching my breast until bruised.

    I am not going on the trip with our mutual group next month. The narc sees me as easy prey. This narc was respectful to 1 older lady he gravitated to, who has since passed on. He likes Latinas and looks @ their faces. He only looks @ what is between my legs with me. My photos were zapped on his Facebook he posted but these other women's photos remained. He does not care and does not want to hear about it. He kept saying that is the past but does nothing to fix it now.


    When I see this narc he says he missed me and loves me for a short time. Than soon after he starts up mistreating me, and freezing me out ignoring my texts and calls. He says he is claiming my sexual areas but he will not claim me as a person. He told people we are friends. He rarely compliments me like he does other Spanish women. He says I imagine this and he knows many people, so these are all his friends. He hit on another Facebook women after I helped him find a lawyer when he got hurt. He ignored me. The narc has gone off with a female in front of me and was nice to them with no pinching and grabbing. In front of people I am Christine in private baby. He says he keeps his personal life private. I am not allowed as his Facebook friend anymore.

    He is controlling and often said to shut up and shush. This narc told his Facebook family he was engaged. Word got back to me. A friend pushed it in my face making me feel horrible. I asked the narc man prior to this if he was done with me. He said he would not say that but ignored my texts and calls. He never gave me closure but met some stranger and got engaged and disengaged soon after.

    I have to work on moving on and made my own closure as for the affair ending. It is so hard. I have no family support around me. I see a therapist once a month who feels this is codependency and agrees I am addicted. I feel I have been addicted. I liked the sex I had with the narcissist. Now I see him more like the devil. This narc degraded and exploited me.
  • Mossy Contributor

    -1 +1

    Sep 15 2018, 16:40
    That terrific you have the insight now that this person is abusive and bad for you. I suggest you not only block him on Facebook but also from your email, phone calls, and in all other ways. Of course he will continue to be abusive. You can find sex easily with other people who are NOT abusive. Good for you for realizing this narcissist is abusive. Now find other interests, new people, and new activities that keep you from thinking about him. Choose healthy activities where you are more likely to meet healthy people. LOTS of free social options at www.meetup.com Focus on meeting folks in person and reducing time online. It takes time in person to develop healthy real relationships with someone worth your time. Avoid Facebook. Get outside as much as you can.

    Probably you know there is www.coda.org and groups for Love Addicts Anonymous too. It takes time to shift your energy away from people who are toxic to you. I would begin by building friendships (which takes time!) and spending less energy seeking sexual relationships. Hormones are more likely to blind us when we are getting sucked into toxic relationships. Take time with in person clubs and activities as much as possible.

    Good work on your insights and finding a good counselor! You are doing the right thing!
  • Mossy Contributor

    -1 +1

    Sep 15 2018, 16:42
    I've also found lots of really insightful videos about overcoming narcissist abus on YouTube. Take care, Chris!!