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My boyfriend doesn't want me anymore.

Co-dependency

Ask the Therapist
Jan 13 2016, 16:17
  • bluemonday Newbie

    -1 +1

    I was in a committed relationship with my boyfriend of a year. He's 25, I am 20. He and I met through work at our local mall, he a kiosk owner and I just a worker at another kiosk. The kiosk he was running had to do with shoe cleaning. I had been eyeing him for quite some time but never said anything because my social anxiety crippled me. To me, he is perfect.

    In November of 2014 was when he and I met. My little sister wanted to go downstairs to tip one of the Shoe MGK workers for shining her shoes a few days prior. I went with her and they decided to hook me up with a shoe shine for free. I was feeling good. Had my Doc Martens nice and shiny and I was about to do some Christmas shopping. The store I needed to get to was close to his booth though and I was terrified of him seeing me. My sister persuaded me though, saying, "Once he sees the booty, he'll be down." I rolled my eyes and let her drag me along. We were about to pass his booth when all of a sudden I heard a, "Excuse me miss, can I talk to you?" I looked over at him and blinked. I said nervously, "I already got my shoes shined, thanks!" And tried to continue on my way.
    He said, "No. Come over here." All the while, he was laughing.
    I lugged myself over, my heart pounding. His beard, his tattoos, his kind brown eyes had me screaming inside. He said, "I just wanted to let you know I've been checking you out for a while now and I wanted to tell you you're gorgeous."
    I blushed and grinned so stupidly.
    He continued, "I was hoping I could get your number."

    That was the happiest day of my life. I felt like I was walking on air. And our dates were by far magical. But then, I noticed a pattern of his exes coming to him for his side jobs. He is a tattoo artist and a dealer on the side. Sometimes he would spend nights at the casino. He believes in medicating naturally rather than therapy (weed always made me extremely paranoid though, so I never smoked with him.) It made me really uncomfortable and my confidence started to dwindle. When I would confront him, he would say I was "tripping" and he was a good man and had never touched another woman since he was with me. I had meltdowns consecutively every day since April of 2015 and he stayed with me through each one. But yesterday after one of my meltdowns, he said he no longer wanted to suffer and couldn't handle me anymore. I told him I would get help many times, but I things keep getting in the way. His last message to me was "Go do what u said your going to do." And I am trying but I don't know what it means. I want him back so badly but at the same time, I don't know how to stay happy. Because when I am happy, I feel like I am on cloud nine. Then I overthink and feel like something extremely bad is going to happen...what do I do?
  • Mossy Contributor

    -1 +1

    Sep 15 2018, 16:51
    If this other person hadn't already ended it I would be advising you how to end this toxic relationship as soon as possible. He's not good for you. You should get away from him anyway.

    Find better people to be with by doing healthy activities and meeting healthy people there. LOTS of free social activities to choose from at www.meetup.com. That's fabulous you're not with this guy anymore.