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Anxiety & Panic Disorders

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Nov 30 2012, 15:48
  • I believe I have Social Anxiety. I am currently in my first semester of college and my social anxiety has started to affect my life, I want to change it but I don't know how. I've always been shy even though in childhood I was a little more outgoing. When I got to high school the first two years were fine, I made friends and stuck with them, for as long as i remember I have had a fear of people judging me so while my friends were making new friends and talking to others I never did. All I ever talked to was the 4 friends I had and if I didnt have anyone in one of my classes I never talked to anyone. I dreaded having to work in groups because I couldn't just walk up to people and ask to work with them and I felt that if I worked alone my teacher would say something or kids would judge me.Also making presentations infront of the class terrified me. Even though the first two years were stressful for me at times because of the public speaking and group work I got through it with not much problem. The time I really realized that something was wrong with me was my senior year. One day in english we were taking turns reading. I have never been the best reader but I am surely not the worst I would say that I probably read a year behind my class. I have always been alittle nervous when I was asked to read infront of the class because I was afraid that if i didnt know how to pronounce a word people would judge me, even the words that everyone in my class wouldn't know how to prononce I had to know what they were before I started reading. So when they were reading I am always a paragragh ahead to pick out hard worked and learn how to pronounce them just in case I was called on. This technque has worked well for me and I would be able to read just fine, that is until my english class that day when he called on me to read. I had already read the paragraph and I was comfident but when I started to read my body started to act strangly. My eyes were getting blurry, my voice was shaking and I couldnt stop it, and worst of all I couldn't breath, I felt like I just ran a marathon. I could not catch my breath which ment it was hard to read I kept having to stop and take a deep breath. I had never had this happen before and I scared me. Since that day it has only gotten worse. When ever im called on in classes, or I have a presentation I have the same reaction, It is getting to the point where i have skipped my english class in order to avoid possably having to read out loud. When A teacher asks a question out loud and I know the answer I cant answer it because I am afraid it will be wrong and I will look stupid. Really any social event makes me anxious but some I can get past. I cant join a club because I am worried about not knowing anyone. I can ask for help because im afraid of looking stupid. When im walking down the hall I usually look at the floor or have my phone handy in case someone I know walks by that im not best friends with because im afraid that if I say hi they will think im wierd, or that they are mad at me and I dont know it. It has come to the point where alot of people think that I am rude or mad at them but in reality its my anxiety. Im always thinking of my someone is mad at me or what i said to make myself look stupid, or make them not like me. I hate making phone calls to places like the dentist or my admissions office because I am afraid of them thinking Im stupid. I usually have my mom make myt phone calls for me. When I am in the hall and I see people laughing and wispering to each other I automatically think they are taking about me and that they hate me. Even if I know it is irrational and that thye dont know me so how could they hate me? my brain still thinks oh well they heard something you did from a person you do know and now they hate you. My brain doens't stop I am constintly thinking of what could happen, what people are doing/saying, and what I did wrong. People don't understand what its like to live like this. I wish I would change it but I just dont know how. I was thinking about seeing my counceler here at my university ut when she asked me which date I wanted to meet I didnt respond I thought that she had better things to do, or that she doesnt deal with people with social anxiety so when I go I will look stupid.
  • PsychoBarbie Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jan 4 2013, 19:18
    I'm basically the same way although I don't go to school any longer. Actually I really don't leave the house any longer. My husband makes all my calls for me. I have no problem talking to people via text or the internet though. I guess it's because online you don't know me and when I'm texting it's just a very few people, like my husband and 1 friend.
    I'm sorry it's so hard for you. I completely understand and hope that you find the support and help that you need to get over your social anxiety. Good luck!
  • JMac Newbie

    -1 +1

    Feb 25 2013, 02:59
    It sounds like you just explained me in high school! I bet it's hard. One thing that helped me through it was the love from the people I care about. I used to be outgoing but I slowly started to feel like people were alway watching and judging me. I kept thinking "it's just school, I'm here to learn anyways..." But it never really helped :p I started to miss class at least once a week cuz I was embarrassed about soooo many things, grades obviously dropped, and finally (after a couple years) my best friend asked me why it mattered what anyone else thought? Within the last year I began to release even though we feel like people are watching and judging us, humans are human! Half the time we're our own worst enemy. Another thing that helped me was to force myself to go out in public everyday and talk to 3 different people. It could be someone I know (by running into them, not planning anything) but talk to anyone even a fast food worker and say as much as hey how are you? Then order. He doesn't care, he deals with customers that I bet are a lot weirder than you. We're all weird! As long as you strive for happiness. It won't just show up in the mail.
    I truly hope you're able to conquer this! You can if you believe and just stop worrying about what others think (easier said than done, I know!) it'll take time but I'm sure you will encounter great success. My motto is to make peace, with yourself and others. Give love out and more will come back in return. And seek happiness in every aspect of your life!
  • miles Newbie

    -1 +1

    Oct 20 2013, 14:17
    You sound a lot like me. I have always been one to shy away from people. I do worry about what people think of me even today. I don't go out and meet people, in fact my family uses the term "hermit" a lot when they refer to me to other people. Why? Because I have anxiety about meeting new people. For me, I tend to have the worst case scenarios run through my mind constantly, making it impossible to be comfortable around new surroundings. I stay away from old friends and my family because it is so hard to be relaxed. People constantly call me rude names for not showing up for things like parties or just a friendly visit. I myself haven't found a way around things. I do push myself but its so exhausting! I come back to my house and sleep for like 2 days after.