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Whats wrong with me? Alcoholism is ruining me and my relationship

Addiction

Ask the Therapist
Jul 15 2013, 10:18
  • Yahyee1283 Newbie

    -1 +1

    IM 24 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR 6 YEARS NOW. WE LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH AND HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT TOGTHER. ANY FIGHT WE HAVE EVER HAD HAS BEEN DUE TO MY DRINKING. IM A HEAVY BINGE DRINKER AND THIS ALWAYS GETS ME INTO TROUBLE. IM FINE WHEN IM SOBER, I LOVE HIM AND I LOVE BEING WITH HIM. WHEN I DRINK I TURN INTO A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON, I PICK FIGHTS WITH HIM I YELL AT HIM CALL HIM NAMES, GET PHYSICAL FOR NO REASON AT ALL, I GET REALLY MEAN AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE EMBARASS US BOTH AND ALWAYS END UP LEAVING HIM AND CALLING A FRIEND TO PICK ME UP.

    HE TREATS ME SO WELL,HE JUST GOT ME A NEW CAR AND HE TOOK CARE OF ME THESE PAST FEW WEEKS WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL TO GET MY GALLBLADDER REMOVED. HE IS THE BEST THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND I CONTINUE THIS BEHAVIOR. HES FORGIVEN ME SOO MANY TIMES BECAUSE I KEEP TELLING HIM IM GOING TO CHANGE, THAT IM GOING TO QUIT DRINKING.

    I CANT JUST HAVE 3 DRINKS, I HAVE AN EXTREMLY HIGH TOLERANCE FOR ALCOHOL AND MEDICATION NOW THAT IT TAKES ALOT FOR ME TO GET BOMBED. THIS HAS BEEN AN ONGOING PROBLEM THROUGHOUT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP. I WANT TO CHANGE AND I DONT WANT TO LOOSE HIM. IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH, IM SAD AND I KNOW HE DESERVES BETTER.

    I THINK THIS IS THE LAST TIME THOUGH. LAST NIGHT I GOT HIM KICKED OUT OF A BAR AND THEY WOULDNT LET HIM BACK IN AND I STAYED INSIDE. I CALLED FRIENDS TO PICK ME UP, CONTINUED DRINKING AND DIDNT COME HOME UNTIL 3AM. I KNOW IM ONLY 24 BUT I SEE THIS AS BEING AN ONGOING PROBLEM IF I DONT CHANGE NOW...I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHERE TO START. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE APPRETIATE. CAN ANYONE RELATE TO THIS?
  • Margaret Wise Expert

    -1 +1

    Jul 16 2013, 03:04
    Vow never to drink again. Go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
    Find a sport or exercise you enjoy and do that instead of drinking. Are you sure you really love your boyfriend? Because if you did love him I would think you would think twice about ever drinking again.
    You need to find an outlet besides drinking. What about reading, art or writing just to name a few. What other interests do you have?
    • Yahyee1283 Newbie

      -1 +1

      Jul 16 2013, 04:48
      Maybe that's a good idea. Ill quit drinking but the longest I have gone is about 4 months? And then I fu** up again! Then I quit again then I mess up again. I love him so much I really do, I have an addictive personality and alcohol is my absoloute weakness. He drinks too, about a 6-12 pack of beer every single nights of the week. He doesn't get crazy or disrespectful like I do. Hes been drinking for years now. I love to work out, dance, watch movies read, all of that. He doesn't enjoy the same things I do so what we have in commin now that we both do together is drinking together.