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Raped by my older brother for about 7/8 years

Abuse

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Apr 17 2013, 04:40
  • maryy955 Newbie

    -1 +1

    I was raped by my brother.. It's not something I've told much people. It started when I was young, like when I was in fifth grade, I don't remember much of then, I don't know how it began, and honestly i'm not sure I want to... It continued till I was in eleventh grade... I never told anyone because he threatened to kill me, kill my other brothers and even my parents, and I believed him, of course I did, he had a knife to my throat then. It was horrible, and what was worst was that he didn't care, he seemed very fine, he used to smile at me and ugh! I feel dirty, I feel like I can't get clean, I feel like no matter what I do I'll always be dirty... I used to cry while he did whatever, and he'd just tell me to shut up or something, he'd hit me, hard, and he didn't care when I'd bleed or when I'd tell him to just get done and kill me already.. I hate him.. And I can't get over it.. I'm trying to. I need to start my life, I'm in my first year of university now and I haven't yet and I should! I'm scared of walking in my own house, I'm scared of being alone at home, of walking alone on a floor where he'd be.. I'm screwed, I'm .. I don't know anything...
  • Katelyn Contributor

    -1 +1

    Jun 16 2013, 04:07
    Mary(: I've almost been in a similar situation with my once favorite cousin. He was my best friend because we were closer in age. Unfortunately for my when we got to be teenagers like any boy he got extremely hormonal:/ but in the end he's family. And he hasn't done anything to me in a LONG time. Make it extremely clear to him that what he did was wrong. And if you feel scared do it in a setting that is public. He can't touch you put yourself in a position where you have the power not him. And if you absolutely find it necessary exposé him for his true colors. I know that may be hard to hear but I also went through the same thing more than once with quite a few people ( family members). It really isn't easy but I know that it is not impossible to get through(: just believe in yourself and surround yourself in a supportive system(: