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I was sexualy abused as a child by my older brother

Abuse

Ask the Therapist
Feb 5 2013, 21:24
  • dhourie Newbie

    -1 +1

    Hi I was sexualy abused by my older brother starting at the age 7 and it finaly stopped at age 14. I am now 29 and never have gotten help for it. I thought I was ok untill I had my daughter almost a year ago. I had her by c-section and was put under for the surgary I haven't been the same since it has caused me to feel vialated all over again and now it is hurting my relationship with my boyfriend as I no longer want to have sex with him and don't like to be touched, and I hate it I want to be able to enjoy him without feeling like this. It has been a long time since we have been intamite I need help to work through this pain.
  • Melissa Contributor

    -1 +1

    Mar 15 2013, 13:00
    I know what you are going through. I was also sexually abused by my step-brother and several other people. I just dealt with it as a teen (I was a young child when it happened, but lasted for years). Once I had my first child, and then second, and then 3rd......I would have like an emotional breakdown. When something major happens in your life, especially one like giving birth to a child. Your body reacts to it. I ended up going to see a counselor. It helped me a lot. I wrote a letter to every person that abused me. I told them how they hurt me so deeply, made me hate myself, how their action skewed my thinking and therefore I made poor choices for my life. I did not send the letters, it is just a therapeutic tool. I also suggest you do this. I kept a journal for 30 days and wrote down everything I could remember and then read it out loud. Reading it aloud was the absolute hardest thing for me. It was like reliving it. But, afterwards I felt much better. You definitely need someone to talk to. Sexual abuse is a violation of the soul! It tears you up emotionally. I am 32 and I have been dealing with this since I was 5, if not earlier. When I was married to my first husband I would cry when we had sex, because it made me think of the abuse. It was very hard for me. I feel better now, my youngest is almost 9...so in the past 9 years I have been able to put it on the back burner in my mind. For me, not thinking about it is much easier than facing it. My abuser is a family member, so I choose to live far away and not think of him. But, you can get help from someone who can help you learn to forgive so you can heal. You can always message me if you need to talk. I definitely understand what you are dealing with. Hang in there