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Strange Love

Abuse

Ask the Therapist
Jan 22 2013, 12:53
  • mohothair Newbie

    -1 +1

    I have been in an on and off relationship with my son's father for 4 years. Recently, we have been back together for about four months after being separated for four months, which is the longest time we had ever been apart. I initially left because of abuse. When he came back, we discussed things, and we both began working on ourselves and one another. For a while we were ok. We would disagree but it would not escalate to that level. Its just so weird because we are like best friends. I did not experience abuse from him at all. We were really a family and completely in love. My mother along with plenty of other people could see the undeniable love. Normally when you hear about abusive relationships, it is normally something that happens very often and it just does not seem similar to my story. Its almost like he turns into another person for maybe 15-30 minutes, destructing more than anything, and then when he snaps out of it, he is completely remorseful and regretful. It makes me feel like the abuse comes from somewhere deep within. I immediately left refusing to put myself or my child in a negative situation, but it is just crazy to feel like you are walking away from the person that you feel like you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Aside from these spats he is an amazing person, I cannot express that enough. He is nurturing and loving and so caring. I know that I cannot change him, only he can do that. But should I just walk away and never look back? Is there ever a possibility that things could be different? I cannot imagine finding someone that fits into my world and accepts me and although I have left its almost like the hurt is worst as if I should be there to help him. I know its not my fault but can I be a toxic addition to the situation? I just need help and peace of mind