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Fear of intimacy

Sexuality & Gender

Dec 28 2015, 22:29
  • I have a total fear of intimacy. That is really it. Some defense mechanism in my prefrontal cortex just shuts me down. I can't tell anyone anything about myself. I walk around wondering if I am actually here. The only thing that grounds me is that I'm a doctor. When I am one on one in the room with a patient, everything is perfect. Hmm sounds like a red flag for some control issues, huh? I have no life outside of my patients. I don't know how to talk about anything substantial in my life. I freeze easily and cut people out very quickly. Thing is, I am a desperately lonely person. All I want is to feel close to someone, but I know that I inhibit that from happening. And I'm so preoccupied with appearing normal that I lie about relationships. I'm in a fake one right now. Aside from being a horrible thing to do in general, it creates a wall between me and everyone. I looked on this forum for some advice on how to undo thid cycle that I am in.

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