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Sexually frustrated

Sexuality & Gender

Jun 22 2014, 10:45
  • Kelly Newbie

    -1 +1

    Hello all. I am twenty six years old. I am currently in a situation that has me at a loss for a solution hence me coming here and I hope this helps. I am currently in a relationship which I have been in for the past year. I would first like to share that in all other aspects of the relationship I am completely happy and fulfilled. The problem I am having is that I need sex more often than I guess he does. At this point in the year we have only had sex 14 times this and I am going on day twenty with no sex. This is not out of the ordinary for our relationship at least for the past eight months. This has lead me to attempt the obvious solution of simply discussing this with him which I have done several times but each conversation only turns into conflict with no solution. These conversations have ultimately made our sex life completely awkward and uncomfortable. I feel depressed and insecure as a result of this. In the beginning of our relationship sex was often and easy to obtain as I am sure is common in the beginning of all new relationships. But at some point the sex just stopped. I have not been able to pinpoint a life change or anything that could possibly contribute to the lack of sex. I am almost positive that infidelity is not an issue on his part although there have been times I have considered the idea strictly to compensate for the lack of sex within the relationship (I have not followed through and I don't plan on it). Masturbation has become an issue in our relationship as well. I am typically not a fan of my boyfriend masturbating or watching pornography but I am also open minded to an extent. But in our situation for him to masturbate really irritates me and makes me feel like he has chosen pornography and self pleasure over having sex with me. Although I am unsure of how often this self pleasure takes place I feel like i should always be the first option considering my high sex drive. Only in a situation where i turn him down would I understand his choice to masturbate although I still wouldn't be happy about it. As far as me masturbating I don't enjoy it that much it has gotten to a point where me masturbating brings me down and makes me angry like why should I have to resort to this when I have a fully capable boyfriend who apparently doesn't want to have sex with me. And of course this leads me down the train of thought well why doesn't he want to have sex with me ? And so on and so forth. This train of thought never ends well for my self esteem I am led to feel obsolete or unworthy or undeserving . I also suffer from anxiety and obsessive thoughts which Ivan only assume worsens the situation. Please help I need advice. I am starting to consider ending the relationship which is literally a last resort for me as a solution considering my earlier statement of this relationship being perfect in all other aspects.

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