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Short and depressed

Self Esteem & Shyness

Feb 2 2016, 19:28
  • meneme Newbie

    -1 +1

    When I was three years old my parents were killed in a car accident. And I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle. My aunt and uncle loved me very much although my aunt was very strict with me. When I was five my aunt and uncle had the first of their four daughters. This was followed the over the next several years by the birth of my other cousins. All my cousins are girls by the way. I had a fairly normal childhood except for a genetic defect that caused me to grow more slowly than normal. As I grew older my growth rate started to slow down so by the time I was 11 I had stopped growing completely and am only 4'4" tall, this in contrast to his parents who were both normal height. My mother was 5'9" tall and his father was 5'11". My aunt and uncle however, were much taller both of whom stood at 6'4”. When it became apparent at age 6 that I was not growing like I should my aunt took me to several doctors to see if there was something that could be done. After many tests and visits to specialists it was determined that I would stop growing sometime before he hit puberty and that any treatment currently available wouldn’t be ineffective. About the same time my uncle was diagnosed with cancer and would struggle for years until he passed away when I was around nine years old. My aunt was somewhat bothered by my condition and she started acting different towards me. For example when I was 10 years old I was almost at my full height but everyone noticed that my four-year-old cousin was the same height as I was. My aunt had us stand back to back in and measured them both and they were both four foot 2 inches tall. My cousin was so excited that she ran around the room jumping up and down. I on the other hand became really depressed about it but my aunt just picked on me about it and kind of encouraged my cousins to do the same. She would often measure me and my cousins having us stand back to back after that.
    After that my aunt started becoming very demanding and always running me down. I would also get in trouble for stuff my cousins would do. I would often get the belt or slapped or spanked. She used to hit me if she was really mad but that stopped when she got into trouble with social services. She had a bad drinking problem about that time so I think that contributed to a lot of it. I went to school one day with a black eye and bruises all over my body. That’s when the teacher called them. I know I had blacked out after she hit me two or three times in the head the night before so I don’t know how I got all the bruises. My cousins told me later what happened but I didn’t tell anyone what they said. After that she got help for the drinking and that helped a lot. I don’t recall her ever hitting my cousins ever. She doesn’t even yell at them. She still yells at me and will spank me but not as much anymore. She still tries to intimidate me or belittle me or even humiliate me in front of people or my cousins and their friends. My cousins are all taller than me now so it’s very awkward. I know my aunt loves me but it’s really hard to forgive her.
  • athomas Contributor

    -1 +1

    Jul 25 2016, 11:00
    I am so sorry to hear that you feel so belittle. That is a terrible feeling. By the sound of you post you are younger. Maybe in school. This is hard battle to face is there anyone like a school counselor you may be able to talk to. I went thought alot of verbal abuse when I was younger and it turned my world upside down. I know how you are feeling in some ways.
    Maybe trying finding a club to join or maybe getting a job to be out of the situation. I found that getting involve in a church group, babysitting, part time job out side of the home. Seem to put most of the belittle aside. If you are not there you can not hear that things said, that hurt your feelings. I will pray for you and God will just wrap his arms around you.
    • athomas Contributor

      -1 +1

      Jul 25 2016, 11:01
      Also this will help you self esteem.

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