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Caring for a toddler

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Aug 23 2010, 16:25
  • Jessica Newbie

    -1 +1

    I am a new mom. I have an 8 months old son, who I adore (just to be clear). I have decided to quit my job and take care of my baby full time as I think its necessary for kids to grow up in a family environment.

    But for the last 3-4 months I have been feeling very lonely and depressed. My husband leaves for work in the morning and I am left with a toddler whole day. I feel like the lonliest person in the entire world.

    I am afraid if things keep going like this, I may start resenting my child. What should I do?
  • jack morrison ADMINISTRATOR

    -1 +1

    Sep 6 2010, 17:47
    Jessica, you may well be dealing with post partum depression and I would urge you to seek help as soon as possible. You could contact your family physician or your gynaecologist. A mental health counselor could offer guidance and make appropriate referrals. Commonly post partum depression is treated with anti depressant medication as well as cognitive behavioral psychotherapy. Please reach out and speak to your husband, supportive family members and get the help you need and deserve.
  • Kiwi Helpful Friend

    -1 +1

    Aug 19 2012, 09:43
    Also, try to join mother groups? something social of that kind? It does get lonely.. but it doesn't need to be!
    All the best,

  • cv Newbie

    -1 +1

    Sep 15 2012, 16:24
    Hi Jessica,

    When did you start feeling like this? Before or after you quit your job to stay home?

    If it was before you quit your job, then I would maybe agree with Jack and something else might be going on that you want to check out.

    However, if you started feeling this way after you quit your job to stay home, then I think your feelings are perfectly natural. I spent my son's first year at home, and it is a lonely job. My husband and the rest of my social support network worked during the day, so I didn't have anyone to talk to. Sometimes, I would just watch TV all day because I was so sad and lonely.

    Being with a toddler can be boring and lonely, even though you truly and deeply love your child. You are obviously a very dedicated mom to put your child ahead of your career. Make sure that you take care of yourself too, because if you're not happy you won't be the best mom that you can be.

    I don't know how much money you have available to sign up for groups, but your local park district should have some cheap options for toddler activities. This gives you both a chance to get out and make new friends. Play dates are great too because your child gets to socialize and so do you. And give yourself something to look forward to, plan regular date nights with your partner or girls' night out with your friends. Giving yourself a break from your child lets you come back refreshed and ready to be the amazing mom that you truly are.

    And one final thing, if you decide that staying home isn't the right fit for you, then it's ok not to be a stay at home mom. When you are happy, then your child sees that and appreciates it. Even if you work, you can dedicate special time to be with your little boy. But sacrificing your happiness will eventually lead to you resenting him, which just hurts you both.

    Good luck, I'm sure that you will find what's best for you and your family!
  • riverisland Newbie

    -1 +1

    Oct 20 2012, 15:03
    I had this issue as well. Feeling depressed and lonely after my husband would leave for work. What worked well for me was going onto Facebook at least 2-3 times a day or trying to Skype with friends and family with my little ones. I also used meetup.com to find local mommy groups so I could bring my kids to play groups and events with other stay at home moms. I highly recommend you trying that out. Hopefully it will make you feel better and less lonely! :)
  • hhuumm2012 Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jan 3 2013, 15:56
    you kid loves you and u love him u just need to get out maybe alil more offten you guys dont have to always stay home ISSOLATED go on a play date or just a lil trip to the park :) see if that help and hang in there!

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