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My mom died.

Grief, Loss & Survivors

Oct 31 2016, 08:26
  • Tinta Newbie

    -1 +1

    My little sister died. 12/27/14. She had been very sick. Was getting worse. Went blind, was losing her motor skills. My mom had three kids, but had taken care of my younger sister since she was 7 and diagnosed with Lupus. She saw and spoke to her everyday, they were so close.
    Her death broke my mother. So much so that she also got much sicker. She also had Lupus. But with her heart broken she started wasting away. The doctors called it, simply, as "failure to thrive".
    Well.

    She passed out. Alone, in the yard. And we found her and brought her in. And she went into cardiac arrest. CPR, chest compressions.
    But ultimately her brain went too long without oxygen. She was never going to wake up.
    So my sister and I took her off life support. She breathed on her own a few days. And stopped on the 27th. Two months before the second anniversary of the death of my little sister.

    It was bad enough, but then I came back to Grand Coulee last night and noticed two of my pill bottles were empty. A months worth of sleeping pills and two months of benzos. And freaked the absolute fuck out thinking mom had taken them to kill herself.
    And cried all night.
    And my dad says that they pumped her stomach and there were no pills, but it was hours and she very well could have.
    But that it doesn't matter. Not really. Because it doesn't change anything.
    And I guess that's true.
    He says we need to stop trying to make sense of it and just move forward.
    And not second guess everything we did.

    I had two parents and two sisters and now half of my family is dead.
    My mom and little sister have half of me and are pulling me toward them, but my dad and older sister have the other half of me and are pulling me toward them.
    It's...exhausting.
  • donjaf Contributor

    -1 +1

    Nov 6 2016, 01:58
    Hi Tinta,
    Sorry for your loss. Hope all is well these days.
  • Jun 18 2018, 02:44
    I feel you. Half my family has passed away too. My dad passed away and I as well found him. His family's side is all dead. I can't give you a answer of grief. Try group therapy. I did that and it's good to talk about a family member. I'm currently wearing my grandfather's shirt now even. Don't do what some people do, try to forget them. I always look up stuff about my grandfather because he was a bit famous from 1970-2000s. Just remember you still have 1/2 of your family. Just reach out to someone like you.

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