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Confused :/


Apr 23 2012, 01:42
  • lashedupree Newbie

    -1 +1

    I am head over heels in love with my best friend and I have tried and tried to tell myself no I am not but the fact to reality is that I am. I mean we are never apart we spend tons and tons of time together and we make each other laugh. he is my best friend,my other half to say the least. But ready for it here is the real zinger he is gay! I dont get jealous when he is with someone else nor does he with me (that I know of). But we both seem to tire or make our dating situation go bad or something happens to where we are together again just me and him. We are sexually active though which is something else I dont understand. Sometimes we can just sit and stare into each others eyes and smile. he is my shoulder to cry on and I his. We are very touchy feely also always have our hands on each other. The problem is is that i am not sure if he loves me back I feel like he does but is confused about the situation. I would never risk complicating our friendship with something like this unless I was sure or at least had an idea.
  • rhyne930 Contributor

    -1 +1

    Aug 27 2012, 16:10
  • helenh Insightful User

    -1 +1

    Oct 1 2012, 21:15
    Hi Lashedupree, I too have a gay friend who I am very close to.It took us a long time to establish where we stood with eachother as the attraction was there, as we had an instant connection when we first met. We can talk about anything, enjoy social outings together, shop and just hang out. It was confusing for me because I could not find this in a normal realtionship, and neither could he. It is like we found eachother at the right time, taking away the lonely feeling, when we were both feeling vulnerable to others. I guess I needed a friend not a partner at this point in my life but I remember feeling very confused at the start where you appear to be with your friend.
    The thing I kept in my head and heart at the time was remembering that our friendship is more important than anything else, and that the last thing I want is to lose that. We had heaps of talks about our feelings too which also helped us establish the friendship we were meant for. It took me a long time to also notice that relationships vary in so many ways, some friends you don't have to figure out, they are meant for you just as they are.. I hope that helps
  • Jaxto Newbie

    -1 +1

    Sep 9 2016, 21:29
    What helenh said was very wise I think. A friendship with someone you truly care about is one of the most important things I can imagine, and I can understand not wanting to lose that. It sounds like this guy considers you equally important, so maybe it's possible to confide in him that things can be a little confusing based on how you guys show affection. It sounds like you both want the best for each other, so if it's not too uncomfortable, you might even feel a closer friendship by telling him about your confusion here and asking for his help in clarifying what's going on emotionally, and how you can strengthen your friendship by working through it.
  • CM2017 Newbie

    -1 +1

    Aug 11 2017, 07:55
    I have been in this same position before. Have you ever considered that it might be someone from a past life that you had a relationship with and that is why you feel that way about someone you don't necessarily want to feel this way about. You should read about past lives...

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