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Do I have relationship problems or emotional problems

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Apr 16 2012, 17:39
  • lashedupree Newbie

    -1 +1

    Lets see I am not sure where to start. My relationships never seem to work, I dont think thats it my problem for the way that they go. I end up attracting crazy people or sex crazed men. I feel so alone all of my friends are living my dream of getting married and having babies. i am so afraid that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I also feel like a 3rd wheel burden when I am with my close friends and we go out. When I do date some one it never seems to go anywhere and if it starts going good then something ends it and its usually something stupid and i feel like its all my fault. I try so hard in my relationships also putting every thing i have into it so it doesnt go wrong but it always does. I just want someone to love me. I have tried every dating site there is and i get nothing. My friends say that I should stop looking and let someone come to me but i am afraid that if i do that then my bad dream will become a reality and I will be alone. Do i have relationship problems or do i have emotional problems?
  • MegTROOPER Contributor

    -1 +1

    Apr 17 2012, 00:23
    This is absolutely an emotional problem cuz you're thinking too much about and then feeling bad about it! You should listen to your friends and let someone look out for you instead of searching dating websites(they never work btw). There's nothing to worry about. I'm sure someone will want to date ya. :)
  • David Newbie

    -1 +1

    Apr 19 2012, 18:32
    You have emotions and you are seeking relationships with HIM. That's more than enough for the Lord. Keep trying I am sure you will find love :)

    If you seek it you will find it I promise you. Just keep strong and keep trying!
  • David Newbie

    -1 +1

    Apr 19 2012, 18:33
    You have emotions and you are seeking relationships with HIM. That's more than enough for the Lord. Keep trying I am sure you will find love :)

    If you seek it you will find it I promise you. Just keep strong and keep trying!
  • Ginny MODERATOR

    -1 +1

    Apr 29 2012, 07:57
    I like eharmony, although it is kind of spendy. You don't say how old you are. Some churches have singles groups. College is a good place to meet men. Take a class. Stay out of the bars. Volunteer work can help you meet someone who is interested in doing good things, too. I recommend not being too tolerant with new boyfriends. Let them chase you a bit. It's easier to set good habits now than it will be down the road if they're used to you having to take on more than your fair share of relationship stuff. Waitressing was a good way for me to meet men-waitresses are easy to approach in a casual way. If you have sex with someone you like, after you've dated a bit, throwing on a cute thing and acting sexy tends to keep them around pretty well. Not all the time, just once in a while, "date night" or whatever.
    • Ginny MODERATOR

      -1 +1

      Apr 29 2012, 11:50
      Oh, I just thought of smething. Guys your age? They're at the same place you're at, maybe even worse. They get lonely, afraid of winding up alone, blah blah, and they don't know what they really want. That's why they always say, number one, they want a girl with confidence. Well...all I can say is there's nothing more confident than liking yourself and being on your own damn side. You with me? Learn to be that way as much as you can. It'll be helpful to you even if guys don't appreciate it right away. Take good care of yourself. That's confidence. Just don't fall prey to faking confidence because some women's magazine said guys like it. get the real kind. Be your own advocate, your own salesperson of you-ness.
  • tash Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jan 14 2013, 16:15
    Hi. I relate to your problem of being afraid of ending up alone. I myself am 29, all my friends are getting married or already have babies and i am about to end a 4 year relationship with a very wonderful man who wants to merry me, simply because i am not inlove anymore. What kept me with him past the natural expiry date of the relationship is "fear of being alone". I cannot deny that I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety at the thought that life is so unpredictable, and i am indeed alone now, so where is my guarantee that this will change in the near future? But the problem i think is not the current state of being alone, but the fear of it. If we cannot accept that "being alone" is a small possibility and we need to confront that idea without being so terrified of it, it will only become a stronger presence in our lives. We will continue to think of this fear and contaminate whatever experiences we will have with this fear (consciously or not) and somehow, i think that could end up sabotaging our choices. Although immensly difficult, we need to befriend our monstrous fear, and realize that life is a continuous set of journeys, and for us now, befriending our fear of being alone is one of them.

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