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self mutilation

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Feb 14 2012, 00:36
  • Bella Rose Newbie

    -1 +1

    how do I stop self mutilating? I am in desperate need of help.... please can anyone help me?
  • Patrick Contributor

    -1 +1

    Feb 25 2013, 21:23
    Hi Bella Rose.

    I don't know if I will be of any help but I understand how important it is to have someone reach out to us. I don't know what you are doing to yourself. I would like to say a few encouraging words.

    Your body is very special. I can not see you but I can tell you now that your body doesn't deserve the punishment you are putting it through. Everyone's body is a beautiful thing and that goes for you. I'm guessing when you try to hurt yourself your overcome with this overwhelming sensation to hurt yourself. I'm guessing this sensational gives you the strength to hurt yourself. If you are not feeling a sensation then I'm guessing you feel a strong numbness. I am trying to imagine what you feel. I don't know what your body feels like when you try to hurt yourself but I am sure it is overwhelming. I think its great you want help.

    You are a very brave person for coming on here and trying to address those urges to hurt yourself. It must be a battle. You are a true warrior and God Bless you for wanting help. Your struggle must be difficult. I am no therapist. That's for sure. But I am a concerned person.

    Your body needs to be loved. You deserve to feel a deep love for yourself. You don't deserve to feel like hurting yourself. That feeling must be very frightening. No person deserves that terror in there life. But like I said, you are a brave person for wanting to confront your urges.

    I will ask a few questions and give my response to them.

    Do I deserve to feel pain for hurting myself? No, I don't. I am a beautiful wonderful human being.

    Do I deserve to feel degraded? No, because I am a respectable human being.

    Do I deserve to be a victim of these urges? No, because I am special in every possible way.

    Do I have a right to question my urges or should I sit by silently and let them control me? I deserve to question my feelings. They have no right to treat me this way.

    Like I said I am no therapist but I hope some of this is helpful. You are a special person that deserves to be valued. You owe it to yourself to be treated with respect. In my opinion sometimes our body has destructive urges and there is nothing wrong with us for that. We have a right to question those urges. That is the first thing I think you should do. I think you already started but I am encouraging you to continue questioning your urges. Do it daily. Never sit back in silence.

    I do believe if you don't address this issue it will be with you for the rest of your life. Urges can be our worst enemy. You don't deserve to be hurting yourself. You deserved to be loved by yourself and others. Be gentle with yourself. There must be a source to these urges. I think you should find that source. It may be a journey. But you have already proven you are a warrior.

    I am new to this site. You can inbox me if you want. I would enjoy the company. And I apologize if my response did not help or I did not make sense. I think it is important that people reach out to us and I just want you to know that people care. From one human being to another: I care and thank you for sharing.

    Thank you again and God Bless :)
  • Baileygrace Newbie

    -1 +1

    May 5 2013, 14:38
    It is very good for you wanting help and i respect that in every way possible. You coming on here shows strength, it shows that you do have courage. You may not think it, (again like the writer above i cant say what you think or feel) but for what ever reason it may be that is causing you to bring harm to yourself, there is always an escape route. Im sure like every other human being in the world there is things that you may like, for example if someone really likes the touch of soft fabrics they may get in a cozy fuzzy blanket and wrap up and feel the softness instead of heading to any sharp objects. Next time you feel like hurting yourself try doing something that will take you're mind off the pain. Another stradegy is being in the moment. Say to yourself "Will this matter in 5-10 years?" Sometimes you're mind blocks out the right answer to questions and replaces it with its own personal veiw so that may not work all the time. Another thing to grip the moment would be to realize you're surrounding. Example: what do you hear, what are you physically touching right at that exact moment, what do i see. Come in contact with you're 5 senses , or maybe just think of ordinary questions like "i wonder what time it is" or "what could i be doing besides sitting here dwelling in my own sorrow brough upon me. Maybe eat something. Chocolate or just cerial. The crunch or physical feel of something is another way to focus on other things. Another option instead of sharp objects against you're skin is a safe torture. Fill you're sink up with cold ice water and stick you're arms in it, or take a cold shower, rub ice cubes against you're skin. Make safe pain cold. Its another skill that has saved many lives. I am just an average person living the depressing life, i have tried these and they do help. I suggest you try. Im new to this site but im sure this could help you resolve some issues.
    Inbox me if you need to.
    -Bailey Francis
  • whybother Newbie

    -1 +1

    May 5 2013, 15:48
    hi i recently have gone through the same thing. I would feel so sad that the only thing i felt like i could do to stop my crying was to cut myself. I stopped because my husband found out and got very mad at me. he said a lot of hurtful things and suggested that i go live with my sister for a while. he also threated to have me hospitalized for it. it really hurt that he didnt understand and of course my friends and family all say i need to leave him. i love him though despite all of this and really want our marriage to work. i stopped because i realized that i need to love myself if i expect him to love me. this is my situation not yours though and i realize your situation is probably different. but there are other ways to cope with whatever it is that is causing you to cut. i was in a very bad place when i did it to myself, but i decided that instead of cutting myself i should think abut why i'm so upset and what i can do to fix it. not everything is in your control however so if youre having family or relationship problems like i was when i started and you have no control over solving the problem then you should think about it and realize that its not your fault and that not everything can be in your control but you can control yourself. Then what i did is i found something to distract myself. i got a hobby. I also joined a support group for depression. talking to people that are going through similar things really helps and youll realize that youre not alone. For me it also really put things into perspective for me and i realized that my problems could always be much worse than they are. think about the good things that are happening in your life and realize that things will never be perfect. everyone has problems in life and thats how it will always be but problems are only temporary and you will always be able to overcome what life has to throw at you even though it doesnt always feel that way. You are a lot stronger than you think, you just have to realize how far youve come in life. Also instead of cutting yourself when you feel the urge to do it just flick a rubberband against your wrist...not hard or anything or try getting a bracelt with beads and moving the beads when you want to cut, thats just something i saw on oprah during an episode about the different forms of self mutiation. i did it cold turkey but i hadnt been cutting for very long. it will take my husband awhile to believe that ive stopped. he still accuses me of cutting myself. he accused me of cutting today because he saw three cat scratches on my arm...which is exactly what they were cuz we have a cat but he didnt believe me and got mad all over again. he left the house for the day and i'm hoping hell have calmed down and wont be so mad when he comes home but only time will tell. i wish you the best.
  • consider Helpful Friend

    -1 +1

    May 16 2018, 01:28
    Learn to resist self injury by reading the Bible everytime you resort to self injury.

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