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Dec 4 2011, 16:16
  • cirst03 Contributor

    -1 +1

    Over the past few years i have nbeen sufferjing from lots and lots of depression. I got pregnant at an early age which postponed my dream of joining the military. I dont regret having my child, he is very much a joy in my life but i hate the fact that i am married to the father of my child and barely get any help raising our son let alone we fight all the time. i was also recently in a car accident that has traumatized me more then anyone around me knows and it has led to more depression and every night i re-live it in my thoughts and it just creates more stress.
    i am just looking for someone who i dont know to listen and talk to me.
  • JayKay Newbie

    -1 +1

    Dec 4 2011, 19:30
    Hey there cirst03. First of all, you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, because if you did join the military, you would be in the same situation...depressed with PTSD. That's where I'm at, or have been going through for 10 years. And I wish I never joined at times, since at the moment my family has shut me out of their lives, and it stemmed from a family-friend who always seemed intimidated by me and my service. Along the way, I lost my children to my ex-wife, since I was overprotective. I guess I just wanted too much for my family, since I have seen things that bothered me in the past, that I didn't want them to go through. Anyways, I only share to let you know that you could have or be in my situation if you did join and maybe how I have dealt with my problems lately which could help you. You obviously have a laptop, so what you can do is start listening to motivational cd's, which you can download from bearshare. You can start with Anthony Robbins, and can check him out though youtube if you want to see if he's your style. If not, you can also try Dr. Wayne Dyer. I can't say that it will help you recover, but it has given me some hope, and sparked my mind with a little motivation. The racing thoughts can be relieved with some mantras, which has to be stated in your head throughout the day. Good luck and if you need anything then I'm here for ya.
    • cirst03 Contributor

      -1 +1

      Dec 6 2011, 22:41
      I am not really scared of joining the military thinking i will be shunned but i am scared to join in fear of leaving my son and family behind. Thanks for the tips on the tunes i can listen to that will possibly help!
  • GodsTear Senior User

    -1 +1

    Dec 5 2011, 00:34
    Have you thought of taking anti-depressants? Then when you feel better maybe you could find a therapist to help you get through the trauma of your accident.
    • cirst03 Contributor

      -1 +1

      Dec 6 2011, 22:43
      I was taking anti-depressants for a little bit after i had my son but i got off of those and now cant afford to get back on them. I do honestly think that i do need a therapist or someone to talk to but thats also something i cannot afford so i have turned to this site.
      • keybonita Helpful Friend

        -1 +1

        Jun 5 2013, 02:15
        It's hard...that's a hard situation. I hope that you hang tough. :) I know that is easier said then done. I would encourage you to talk about your accident. Reliving it over and over is Stress. I think your family and your friends love you. It's easier for me at times to talk to strangers then it is to people who know me. I don't have it so easy myself and I have many forms of PTSD from abuse as a child and also I was in 3 major car accidents as a youth. I can't afford therapy nor meds either. That's really hard. But I know you'll have your bad and good days. But establishing a support system near you is important. It doesn't matter who it is...a friend, family, sister, cousin, just tell someone whats going on inside you. if you can't find the words try to get away from your routines. do something different take your boy to the park and enjoy him. You can do this :) you have the power to lift yourself up. hang in there and hold your head up. be strong
  • Topsy Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jun 25 2012, 10:03
    pls help, i think i want a divorce, am tired of marriage
    • Gia25 Newbie

      -1 +1

      Jul 16 2012, 00:50
      Giving up on your mariage dosent have to be the first choice, you can fix your relationship. Have hope <3 Your not alone.
  • april Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jun 3 2013, 06:53
    Am 18, am really always depressed, am always angry and I don't knw why. I broke up with my boyfriend cos I loved someone else & he did too, then the other guy then broke up with me. Since then, I have been unhappy & sad & it seems like no1 else wants me. Life is just sad. Am bored and alone most times:(
  • Jun 12 2013, 15:32
    I'm not sure how this works or where I'm supposed to post SO I'll start here. I've got a lot of issues but not sure of what they all are. I'm 46, married to someone that has many problem's and receives SSI monthly. He's diagnosed as bi-polar for one. Anyway we've been together since I was 17 he was 21. We have two grown children. A boy that was born with severe spastic cerebral palsy. He was taken from us when he was 20 years old. We've never had much money, even though both my parents, who divorced when I was 12, have money. My husband was cheating on me, and I pretty much had a nervous breakdown; without beening hospitalized. I had never applied to be my son guardian after he turned 18. I thought that meant I would need to have him put into a home; which we NEVER wanted. My failing to do that,only helped adult social services to take him. Out daughter still lives with us. She also has some emotional issues that aren't being addressed by a Dr. She has a 18 month old son; whom I adore to pieces AND my daughter's boyfriend also lives with us. I also have a prescription medication problem and started taking methadone. I wish I never would have because I can't do anything taking it and I can't do anything not taking it. I've always been extremely sensitive, as a child, teenager and now an adult. I'm extremely shy, don't like being around people, it really wears me down when I'm with anyone I feel like I have to entertain. I've been like this before, where I don't won't to or feel like doing ANYTHING but sitting in front of the TV and watching real life crime shows, Investigation Discovery channel and those types of shows. I don't like to be alone in silence because then I have to think about everything bad in my life; which seem to be about everything. My mother just bought us a home, for which I'm grateful but we do have to pay her the monthly payments. My brother, who we helped many years ago and even saved him from possible prison time, has had the opportunity to give myself or my husband a very good paying job. My brother had a friend, whose father turned his multimillion dollar business over to his son. That son,my brother's friend, gave him a job....my brother became vice president over the Co. and now he is running it as the president because the friend turned in over to him while his moved to another state to start business there(I think)But this has hurt me deeply. I would do ANYTHING in the world for my MOther, Father, or Brother and my brother hasn't even come to see the house we're living in now. I asked him months ago about a job for my husband and he said things where slow. I guess he, just like everyone else in my family thinks, I'm slow and stupid and can't figure out when I'm being lied to. I feel like I have no meaning to my life. I can't get medical care because my husband makes too much money(700 on SSI) but he qualifies for medicaid. I feel like I'm the last person on earth that my family(mother, father,brother) cares about. We can barely pay the power bill,internet, cell phone and car insurance. We have no way of making extra money now because of the economy and like I said, I can't seem to be able to get out from under the tv, take regular showers,etc. Ther is so much more to my story that goes back to when my father left, that I can't even write it all right now. Is there ANYONE that wants to talk, tell me what's wrong with me, what to do or anything else? I know I need help but what kind I don't know.
    • tigerlily Helpful Friend

      -1 +1

      Jun 16 2013, 04:37
      perhaps you should start by thinking - what is right with you? and using those to move/plan a way forward.
      • Jun 16 2013, 21:41
        Don't know if you're replying to my post but if you are I have NO IDEA what is right with me. All I can see and feel is, 'what's wrong with me.' I know there's something wrong with me; how I see, feel, act and perceive things isn't normal behavior. I just really, really need someone to talk to and someone to help me in finding out what the problem or diagnosis is.
        • tigerlily Helpful Friend

          -1 +1

          Jun 19 2013, 07:15
          If you can't even begin to see the beginning of what is right with you Stephaniith66 then I suggest you look at your letter again.

          you cope with a husband with a mental illness, a child with physical disabilities, have an unsupportive family for whom you would walk through fire, yet you appear to think it is your fault for not being able to take all these pressures and remain standing.

          from where I'm standing you have much which is 'right' with you. you are caring, nurturing, forgiving and strong.

          however, I would also say you sound as though you a selfless to the point of masochism. it's about time you started using all that energy you are directing at other people on yourself.

          do you have any hobbies? or anything you enjoyed doing as a child? because it's about time you started filling your life with a bit of personal pleasure. I would think from your post it's been a long time since you prioritised yourself. so start.

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