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May 16 2012, 00:24
  • SweetTea Newbie

    -1 +1

    Hi. I'm Kara. I cut myself. I would like to stop, but every time I get anxious or depressed I want to cut myself again. I get really bad anxiety attacks so that it feels like there are bugs crawling though my body. This is really weird listing everything that is wrong, it seems weird. sometimes i get really depressed and think about killing myself. I imagine that I took a bunch of pills or poisoned myself with carbon dioxide. Then I imagine my dead body lying on the ground cold and lifeless. I want to so bad. I do not really care about anything anymore. I would like to care again. I feel like I'm losing control over everything and just want to feel better before I do something I'll regret. There are times I want to get really mad at people, but I usually don't. Sometimes my when I think about how people threaten me I want to hurt them, but I know its moral. In general I just want to be able to be alone or be able to be ok not depressed or what not. There is a voice that tells me I'm useless and that I should just die. I enoy everybody and it would be better if I was dead. It tells me that I'm stupid and a failure at everything and how everybody hates me.
  • May 16 2012, 20:52
    I'm not a doctor or any expert on the matter but I am someone that does have some experience with depression.

    you said you don't want to cut yourself...then don't do it. :) you want to cut yourself for some reason, something is frustrating you, something is causing you a problem, find out what that is, and figure out a moral way to resolve it and do it.

    Regards,
    Greg
  • Brendies Contributor

    -1 +1

    Jul 20 2013, 23:24
    I cut myself too. Usually when Im sad or really mad. I understand when you say you don't want to do it anymore. What has helped me with to deal with my suicidal issue is drawing. Bcaz by drawing I'm able to draw myself in the feeling that I'm feeling. After I finish my drawing I feel I have released the negative feeling. Then I throw it away bcaz its a feeling I don't need. You should see your Doctor bcaz they can provide you with more help.

    I remember reading about internal voice, external voice, and I can't remember the third voice. However, these voices come from people in our lives. Distinguishing these voices is important bcaz one listens to these voices. The voice can be from people in our past. When I started listening then I began to say to myself that is not what I think of mysef. So I began to ignore it or tell myself " no , that isn't true." and added a positive comment of me. It help me to feel better aboutmyself.

    Hang in there. You are stronger than you than you think. Asking for help takes courage so be proud of you.
  • Jul 8 2018, 03:36
    Physiologically, endorphins are released when we are injured or stressed. Endorphins are neurotransmitters that act similarly to morphine and reduce the amount of pain we experience when we are hurt.

    Endorphins are released which limit or block the amount of physical pain that's experienced. Sometimes people who intentionally hurt themselves will even say that they felt a "rush" or "high" from the act. Given the role of endorphins, this makes perfect sense.

    I, personally, would even classify this under addiction if refusal to stop occurs.

    Find other avenues of release, instead of cutting yourself. Dark chocolate releases Endorphins and its tasty. Its an acquired taste but nonetheless is safer than cutting...

    As for the voices in your head, I can speak from personal experience as a diagnosed Paranoid Schizophrenic (2015). It is, literally, all self made. When I would go through psychosis or have psychotic episodes, I was creating realities that I fell victim to believe were real because I didnt know anything else.

    TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide.

    My latest and last suicide attempt woke me up. It was like, the mother of all suicide attempts, if I may say so myself. BUT I had to go through it... to understand my mental illness. To understand myself. The good news is you dont have to experience what I had to to understand what youre experiencing.

    Now, I understand everyone is different but generally speaking all things come from within. If we dont take care of our minds, our soul, then who are we but lost and left to our own devices. Of course we'd "Lose Our Minds" without some form or structure. But there is never a lack for guidance so long as we seek it.

    You have religion, Academia and whatever you choose to be your guide. There are a number of ways to channel your thoughts and energy. Mine was religion. Now I'm not a devote christian or anything but religion is really interesting to me because it sets guidelines and ways of being. And thats just it! "Being."

    "Being happy" or "Being sad" are two different wave lengths-different energies. And it only takes a second to decide which one you want to be.


    Practice GRATITUDE and dont take your opportunities for granted-when it comes to bettering yourself. Self-introspection is a good idea to. dont rule that out.

    Peace.

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