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CRAZY OBESSION WITH LOVE HELP!!!

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May 5 2012, 23:21
  • Back ground info:
    So my mom had a crazy love addiction and went with my dad. Well they broke up and now they are both 40 somthing and depressed!!!

    I have this love addiction/obession passed on to me. I am a crazy obsessive and clingy girl. I love relationships and dating. I have had 2 serious relationships that lasted over 1 year each. I have so much love and care to give someone I get obsessive to the Max!! I will call/text my boyfriend all day and when he doesn't reply in less than 10 min I will call his phone until he responds. Mant times he has showed me 45 missed calls when he was just in the bathroom. This is a serious case! When my boyfirend tell me he can't come over a day we planned to hang out I will yell at him, cry, and completely overreact. I will keep calling him, Threathing him to come over even when he said he can't for whatever reason. I have cut myself many times over this and even attempted suicide just from 1 missed date! If I could have things my way I would want to be with my boyfriend every second of the day! I never get sick of my parenter and I hate not being with him. Often he had to lie to get away from me which hurts me more and makes me go phyco!!! I am serious issues and I know it. I am so crazy and obessed that I cry and cry and get angery over stupid things. I keep hurting myself but blaming him. I can't take not being away from him. When he is not around or when we break up I will lay in bed and cry my eyes out, think about suicide and pretend my boyfirend is beside me. I have an imagany boyfirend that I talk to. I hug a pillow at night and cry and talk to it as its my boyfriend. I even printed his picture out and taped it to a pillow. My whole world revolves around him and I can't stop. I give him everything and because I am so crazy I scare him off and I push him out of my life when all I think I am doing is bringing us closer. I can't handle not having things my way. I need help.

    I do this of fear because my parents didn't work out and I don't want to end up lonely and depressed like them!!!
  • Green13 Newbie

    -1 +1

    May 6 2012, 10:48
    Hello Rainbow,
    It sounds like you seriously need to stop dating and see a counselor (in person) to work out the issues that are behind this. You really can't date at all until you resolve this: just work on you and you'll be healthy enough to have the love of your life once you get through it. Do you have a lot of friends beside the boyfriend? I know the reason I get obsessed with a boyfriend is because I don't have many friends beside him. Thats why I've been working on gaining friendships even though I really want to be in a relationship. Besides not dating and seeking a councilor I would recommend the book: Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud. He writes a ton of useful ones but I would start there. Keep a journal and reflect on your goals and what you've learned. Hope it goes well :)
  • AnonCat Newbie

    -1 +1

    Aug 20 2012, 02:51
    Yo chill
  • Sep 6 2012, 14:54
    I think your obsession is some what related to your child hood. May be you were too lonely or insecure in your childhood that it make you all jumpy and unsure. You have try to let go your fears. You should try to make more friends and learn to enjoy your life. Don't make a single person center of your life that make that person too precious for your own good. Whenever you are feeling obsessive or insecure about a guy just remember this one old saying " Let him free, if he really loves you he will come back. If he didn't come back, it was not worth your time". This saying helped me lot when I was in your situation. And when facing these strong securities try to distract yourself with something other than you boyfrnd which u really love. :)
  • Ginny MODERATOR

    -1 +1

    Sep 6 2012, 15:37
    Get yourself a book on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for Borderline Personalities off Amazon.com. They even have workbooks for teenagers. Look for anything by Marsha Linehan. This will help you learn to soothe yourself and regulate your crazy emotions. It can get better, don't worry. It just takes practice and before you know it you will see some results. Then just keep it up. Don't be discouraged if you backslide some days. Good luck.If you don't have a credit or debit card to buy the book, you can buy one you load with money yourself from Wal-Mart or other places- a visa or a mastercard.
    • Sep 6 2012, 15:55
      My boyfriend has really stepped up in his part and has been more emotional to me, open, honest and trys his best not to hurt me. He swore (promised) never to ignore me, yell at me or get mad at me. He understands my childhood, past and my condition and acts te best he can. He is the hero of my life and I can count on him. I am a very insecure person even though I know I am beautiful. My boyfirend helps me with that and we work together. He is always there for me. I don't have friends and the ones that I have are bad ones. I am a quite, shy and not friendly person. My boyfriend makes me second priority in his life and devotes all extra time to me. I am no insecure about him leaving me as we have been dating 1 year and 9 months. Right now and for the past month I have been at a stable condition.
      • Sep 7 2012, 02:09
        Thats Gr8 news Rainbow.
        M so happy for you. Hope yours stable phase continues and I wish you and your boyfriend can live happily forever. :)
  • consider Helpful Friend

    -1 +1

    May 16 2018, 00:17
    Celebrate recovery group
    When you don’t have your way, you have to accept that and find other activities to do. Read the Bible and find a counselor who will help you work out your problems and workout building you up to not being too clingy.

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