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Am I Not Needy Enough?

Family & Relationships

Jan 28 2020, 16:16
  • Kate Newbie

    -1 +1

    My girlfriend often talks about how needy she is and apologizes for it frequently. She also gets very down on herself about it and says that I make her feel stupid and pathetic because I'm not needy. Like hardly at all. And I truly don't do anything to make her feel stupid. If anything, I make a conscious effort at all times to meet all of her needs in exactly the way she needs them met and to let her know I'm doing it because I care and I love her. It's just that because she has more needs than I do, she compares us as if I'm some kind of standard she isn't reaching and then assumes she's falling short, which makes her feel pathetic and makes me feel like a huge jerk even though I know I'm not doing anything wrong, and that isn't fair to either of us. But this isn't the first relationship where this has been a problem. I require very little emotional maintenance, so my partners often feel like they're too needy because they start comparing us. Does being emotionally self-sufficient make me insensitive? Do any of you have this problem? Is it possible to be too emotionally independent? And if so, does anyone have advice on how to make yourself more vulnerable and how to need more from another person? I appreciate any advice at all.

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