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Widow remarries but still holds onto her past

Family & Relationships

Nov 6 2018, 20:56
  • Xfbd Newbie

    -1 +1

    Just looking for a little advice. I met my dream woman a few years ago and we married this past spring. She is amazing and everything I've always hoped to find in a partner.

    She is a widow, her deceased passed on 9 years ago. When we first net she had a framed picture of him up and used to talk about him a lot. I told her that it made me feel uneasy and that if he was an ex that maybe she should revisit things to ensure she was over it. She assured me it was a long time ago and she had come to terms with things and was ready to move on. Gradually she started to ween herself off talking about him and she removed the picture.

    Now there is a section of the house in a cabinet that I'm not allowed to access to because she has pictures of her kids and deceased in there and I agreed not to snoop.

    The other day my wife left for an out of town business trip and I decided to do some organizing in our closets that needed some genuine TLC. I found in her closet a bag containing many framed pictures of them kissing or in an embrace and several trinkets as well.

    This has resurfaced my uneasy feelings from before. I was not looking to find anything like that and honestly my kind is blown that she has kept those things so close to our bed, I thought that we had moved on together.

    The last day and a half my mind has started to wander and start questioning things like why she has been emotionally distant for the last weeks. Why last year when I typed her name into facebook to post something on her wall did 2 separate accounts come up, one with q picture of us and another of a picture of them... she told me she thought she had deleted that account and doesn't know how it got reactivated... I didnt question it at the time...

    I love her and believe she loves me but I do not want to compete with a ghost. Am I being insensitive or irrational?

    Any suggestions on how I can have a discussion with her about this?

    Thanks for taking the time to read this drivel lol

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