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love issues: what do i do?

Family & Relationships

Jul 25 2018, 19:12
  • winkey Newbie

    -1 +1

    Back in 2016 I started dating a guy who I absolutely knew was the one. we shared the same interests and were completely best friends and lovers. however, I suffered through depression. I continuing thought I wasn't good enough due to my family and grades. he helped so much with my depression, but I took it and my anger out on him. our relationship become toxic and unhealthy. I felt as if I wasn't that person for him anymore. I felt as if someone could make him happier. thus, we broke up. I tried filling my loneliness by going out with other guys. which, I quickly realized they weren't like my ex. in time, we got back together with dreams of marrying each other. until, my anxiety and depression caught back with me and we eventually split because of the stress of a loved one in his family. and everything seemed my fault. again, we broke up. I thought I moved on. now, months later, I am still heartbroken and depressed. I cannot sleep without vivid dreams of him. I can't eat without vomiting. I have hurt him so much, so we have lost contact. I can't take it anymore. I have apologized and have heard nothing back. how can I get over this? will I get over this? and should I let him find someone else who can make him happy?
  • winkey Newbie

    -1 +1

    Jul 25 2018, 19:14
    my friends tell me I'm better off without him. I'm looking for help on what to do. I hate to see him with another girl, but I don't want to see him unhappy.
    • Indigoblue65 Newbie

      -1 +1

      Jul 30 2018, 19:21
      Hi! It sounds to me like you have a tendency to sabotage your relationships when someone gets to close to you. This could be because of your inner insecurity, or maybe sometime in your past, you’ve been seriously hurt by loss...maybe a parental divorce, a lost first love. When we hurt, it’s normal to build barriers of protection. Sometimes we begin a relationship only to find we either sabotage it subconsciously to avoid the pain of him possibly leaving you and getting to close, or we ‘act out’ to test if this person is going to stay no matter what. The problem is, sometimes these tactics work and we lose the person we really love. A healthy minded person will leave because they have self-esteem & won’t allow themselves to be in toxic situations...and potentially hurtful ones, too. My advice? Look within, ask yourself when you were hurt before...get counselling and face this deeper loss. Once you do this, you’ll also come to terms with your pain, even start to love yourself, then you’lol be able to truly bond with someone who’ll love you just the same! It takes work and it’s never easy changing & having to look honestly at our inner pain & behaviours, but this will pass and you’ll be a happier person for it. I can see such awareness in your post. Wow! Not many people can be so humble & honest about their behaviour! If you can see it, change it!❤️

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