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Family & Relationships

Mar 21 2017, 01:58
  • jenn Newbie

    -1 +1

    all signs telling you that your parents only care about themselves. Mother only speaks to you when she wants something done and yells at you for everything else.father rapes older half sister. you start ignoring father. mother yells at you for that too. You tell yourself you get used to it. Two years past and hes hasn't tried talking to you. you cry. you stop crying bc you know you shouldn't care for people who don't care about you. you cry even harder bc if they don't care about you then who will? correction; mother cares when its out of obligation. correction; mother cares when her actions make her look bad. correction; mothers caring suddenly appears when there are other people around. correction again; she makes you look bad to make her look better. all these thoughts flooding at 1:07 AM when youre supposed to be doing your trig homework. you don't understand it anyways. you don't understand life anyways. Jenn its not that deep. How would you know anyways? oh my GOd is your depression coming back? never really went away but mom wont care anyways. mother still chooses father anyways. congratulations all around
    . you find theyre getting married in 2 months. he makes mother feel like shit. mother tells herself to get used to it. deja vu. 1:22 AM the flooding slows down. you suddenly remember when mother came to you crying bc she ran out of options. bc 3 older half sisters where ignoring her. bc mother still chose your father. bc father has money? bc mother is getting old? bc mother is a domestic abuse victim. you were mothers last choice. ugh correction option. correction she came to you bc she ran out of options. correction she would just come to your room and start crying and you didn't know what to do. you hypothetically wonder why you never opened up to your mom after that. sigh you aren't needed. sigh your problems would just add on to hers. you realized her problems are big enough already. you realize she has a family of 8 girls to support. you realize that number is still growing. you keeps to yourself bc you're trouble enough already. you wonder why she cant do the same for you. hypothetically ofc. 1:42 AM brain is silent. hypothetically asking yourself if thats good or bad. ofc there's no answer. you wonder what the person reading this is gonna think about you. you wonder if there is a person reading. you wonder

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