Create a new thread

Self Help Education Center

List of Categories

Welcome to our Support Forum

advice, insight, on a situation needed please <3

Family & Relationships

Sep 28 2016, 04:55
  • windi Newbie

    -1 +1

    Im having a hard time making a decision- I'm in college currently living in a dorm with someone who I used to consider my best friend. Ive discovered that I honestly don't like her that much, we are very different in the wrong ways, she brings me down, I always feel like she's using me because she claims to not have any other friends. I don't think our "friendship" is very healthy, I feel like she's too reliant on me, I'm always having to cheer her up or calm her down or re-assure her that we're even friends even though I don't really feel like we are anymore. She's quite the sensitive, debbie-downer, negative type, as in, always feeling bad about herself and her life for no reason, always taking everything personally, she can't seem to be positive about anything or ever let go and have fun.
    So anyway next year, I have the choice of living in a single apartment, by myself, which is what I have always wanted, or a double apartment, with her. She's very reliant on me and I don't think it's healthy and I Really really don't want to live with her even if the only parts of the apartment we share is the kitchen and living room. Whenever I suggest we not be roommates, she gets upset. Again, why I think she's using me is because she doesn't know what she'll do if I'm not in a double apartment with her.
    I dont know tho. The thing that's making me hesitate is the cost. I'm not sure if it's logical or sensible for me to really do the single apartment, because I can afford it, but by a hair. The double would save me money, but nothing about the situation with her would change. So I'm having trouble figuring out what's worth what. I know what I want-to be in a single apartment, but to not run out of money. To not live with her, and to definitely cut down the amount of time spent with her, which would be difficult if living in the same space.
    I don't want to hurt her feelings, and it isn't like we'll never see each other again, but I also don't understand why I have to explain that to her or feel like I'm being a bad friend by going for what I want.
  • ivy13 Newbie

    -1 +1

    Dec 30 2016, 09:15
    I had a simular situation last year with my old roommate. She was super co dependent and sounds just like how you described your roommate. My advice is to sit down and just talk to her about how you feel. Communication is key. Openly express how you feel and let her tell you how she feels. If you feel you cannot live with her anymore then do whats best for you. Howeve, make sure shes aware of how you feel and your plans.

Please register/login to post!