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Bulimia

Eating Disorders

Oct 17 2011, 10:56
  • I am 18 and have been battling Bulimia for almost 2 years. I am sick of being trapped in this continuous cycle: hating my parents, being tired, feeling worthless, like crap, etc.

    It started when some stomach issues began. They were sensitivities to a whole lot of different foods, spices, etc. But that was only a cover-up for the underlying issues of my past: severe bullying (being called names, fat, ugly, stupid), having zero friends. I let people walk all over me and be mean to me without ever standing up for myself, because-I guess-I felt that I deserved it. Better to have mean friends than no friends at all...

    And then 2 years ago, a predominant male figure in my life (not my dad, but my Sensei from Karate) started acting like a jerk and being a butt to me. He really screwed up my self-confidence and sense of worth. This was icing to the cake, because I was already getting that from my own dad, and so when my Sensei began doing it, it was a major blow.

    In may of 2010, I began throwing up. Not everyday. It actually began as a way to ease the pressure I was experiencing when eating (didn't matter what it was, or even how much). But then it ballooned, and became my crutch for all the problems I was having. Now it's everyday, all day. Not a day goes by when I don't B/P. And I'm tired of doing it!

    My parents know, but they're just on the sidelines. I talk to them, they give support, but that's as far as it goes. I just need someone to talk to that can help, and that's in no way affiliated with my in any relational aspect. Someone that I don't tend to hate or get mad at. Someone who can help me overcome these issues and listen without interrupting all the time (my parents don't listen really well. I've told them this, but they don't notice).

    Please help!
  • cptleeadama Newbie

    -1 +1

    Mar 30 2012, 02:07
    ok, so you posted this in October of last year? have things changed much?
  • olivia~audrey Contributor

    -1 +1

    Aug 31 2012, 00:34
    My heart goes out to you and I wish I could be there to listen for you. I have my own experiences with bulimia that I'm sure could be helpful but mainly it sounds like you want to be heard.

    When you posted this -about a year ago- you showed a lot of self-awareness which takes courage to look at and to share. It is very self-aware for example to say it has become your crutch for everything. So, I congratulate you, and no matter how long it takes, you are on the right path.

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