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ex-bulimic now just a binge eater

Eating Disorders

Nov 5 2012, 09:11
  • Naiive01 Newbie

    -1 +1

    I always have had low self-esteem since childhood. When I was in year 7 I had enough of being teased for my weight, especially when a boy I liked told me I need to lose weight. That’s when I began starving myself, it started working I lost allot of weight but also muscle and I reached my goal which was to be underweight. People I knew began to ask me if I was sick.

    My parents started realising my weird eating patterns so I began eating regularly but this time I learnt to purge my meals. I would binge and vomit every time I ate. Everyday all I would think about is food and my weight and it did not help that my dad bought a lot of junk food in bulk all the time. I hated school and I hated life I really wanted help but had no one to turn to my dad was aggressive and mum was not supportive she was judgemental and tor me down with her words, she is one of the main reasons why I have low self-esteem.

    My binge and purging lifestyle went through to the star high school.Through year nine I was so messed up and wrecked and just over the problems from my bad habit. Here are some problems I faced; every morning my throat was really sore, my face was always swollen from vomiting I felt drained and weak. Sometimes when I would vomit the toilet would get blocked I had to unblock the toilet before anyone would come home or notice. Earlier that year I had 6 major fillings and 2 tooth extractions in 1 month, I was so scared the dentist might realise it was the vomiting that had ruined my teeth. I was preoccupied with food all the time, I had suicidal thoughts and had no social life.

    So( half way through year 9) I decided to stop binging and purging. I managed to stop vomiting but I still would binge on food. To this day I still binge on food but exercise sometimes to rid the calories and guilt, I am still having feelings of depression, am preoccupied with food and very anti-social. I really want to put a stop to my binge eating and I want my problems fixed but don’t want my parents to know? :(
  • Ginny MODERATOR

    -1 +1

    Nov 5 2012, 10:32
    I'm just a mom, 42 years old, from Chicago, Illinois, and I have no special expertise with eating disorders. I am not a therapist. But my old psychotherapiist, who was an expert, told me eating disorders are always about control. So i would assume that one way to start would be to build up control in the areas of you r life that you have control over. Then after that, and this is where I bet it might get tricky, figure out what you have less control about but want more. ?
  • Dec 9 2012, 02:46
    I have this same exact problem and concern. No ammount of therapy has helped. I really hope we both find what were looking for
  • Ginny MODERATOR

    -1 +1

    Dec 14 2012, 00:24
    It is smart you decided to stop purging. My psychology text from college says that even if you purge and use laxatives and everything else, you can only get rid of about half the calories, and also it changes your physiology so that it requires more food to keep you feeling full, so you end up gaining weight sometimes, or you just walk around super hungry. My book also says that it takes time before your physiology returns to normal. Even people who are not bulimic but are put in the position of having very little to eat will have to wait awhile before their appetite goes back to normal- they are just super hungry for a while afterwards.

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