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I'm broken but confused to what to do next

Divorce & Separation

Jun 18 2013, 15:09
  • sha Newbie

    -1 +1

    my fiance he left in july one day and didn't say a word that he was going bak to n.y then two days call me as if he didn't just up and leave. And he says he felt I needed space. It hurt of course cause if he felt I needed space why didn't he talk to me before he left. So when he tried to come bak I wouldn't let him cause I felt betrayed. I took all my anger out on him told him nah he can't come bak cause that's not love. Times we talked, times we didn't talk and for 10months it continued like that. I would speak to him for weeks then not speak to him for weeks all the while he was saying he wasn't with nobody and he wasn't sleeping with nobody etc.. Then after I had our daughter snow last month. I felt ok he can come bak cause I feel he been still there for me so he must love me. He was so happy. Then days after that his baby momma write me says they been sleeping together and living together from dec - feb 2013. And that they been sleeping together since aug 2012. I was crushed. Then told him no we can not be!! She also said when she broke it off with him in feb. He was begging for her bak!! Wow.. Anyway he popped up on me last month flowers, balloons teddy bears etc.. He stayed about 2weeks but I couldn't deal. So I asked him to leave, he begged etc.. But still I couldn't do it cause he lied says he didn't beg for her, etc.. I didn't touch him the whole time and I made him sleep on the coach. He's gone almost a month now still writes, texts, calls, send letters in the mail etc.. Still says he loves me and was confused and that he had feelings for her and yea he did infact beg for her bak but he never loved her! Smh now he wanna admit truth when he lied in my face!!!!! Idk what to think or believe or do. He says he loves me always have and he just was lost cause he thought he'd lost me . but yet we've been talking that who;e time yes going through it because soon as he left, i find out he gave me trich and hpv!! when i went for my ob chek up, i was devastated!! anyway his baby momma says he been taking it out on her, cussing her out all types of things.. But that dnt impress me or show me anything cause he still been with her, sleeping with her unprotected even after knowing he has hpv and gave it to me!!!!! And lying to me all them months like he love me so much saying he would do nun of that to me but he did. So now he keeps trying etc. But I dnt knw what to do or believe because how can someone say they love you but can go sleep with someone that fast and KEEP doing it!! And worse beg for them bak but say he was confused and love me..yet if he loved me why he left me pregnant and was able to still sleep with another knowing he'd just gave me std's and i was so hurt by that alone!!?? I'm tired of all this and I want to continue my life and although I knw we all make mistakes and are human, I just feel some things aren't mistakes!! He betrayed me lied kept lying and although I wouldn't allow him to come right bak after he left, he still was talkn to me the whole time! like he wasn't even doing nun, just to find out he was living a whole other life until he felt I'd say ok come back and it's ok u gave me all these stds and left me pregnant and just proposed to me!!.. .. I cried so much but I rather cry than stay a fool. Or if I'm suppose to try and let it go and try.. Smh I just dnt knw what to do..and also I feel like he dnt get how hurt I am! The way he says things like ( what else you want me to do!!! I begged bought you things, ) yes that's what he says to me.. And then that hurts more. Because I'm like wow are you serious!!! After all you did you say that to me like I should take him bak already! As if he doesn't care about the pain, he just sees what he doing to get me bak. But how is that enough? Am I crazy or sum? Am I expecting too much? What is wrong with me? Was I suppose to take him bak cause he came all the way down here? He acts like by him coming to t.n that proves he loves me. But why should he get credit for that when his baby live here!!!!!!!! Smh..ughhh I dnt even knw what a man suppose to do to prove he sorry or that he love you after something like this. I just feel I dnt trust him, and he seem like he dnt knw what love is, and how do you go from beggn one girl to the next then say he'd a been dumped her if he knew I was gon take him bak.. She said she dnt believe he ever loved her, she says she feel he used her and that she done with him. But how do I look? I should feel special??? Cause I dnt.. i just hate this pain and he just seems ok. but claims he isn't.. I found out he been telling her he loves her and he's held her!! and it hurts! he just says he lied to her, he loves me. what to do please? any advice
  • NishB Wise Expert

    -1 +1

    Jul 29 2013, 16:59
    sha what advice would you give if you were reading this letter written by someone else. You already know what to do. Now be brave and bold enough to do it. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you just have to know that and go with your gut that says DISMISS him.

    Focus on YOURSELF and that baby. Allow him to be a father if he chooses. But other than that don't play this game with him. You have to protect your health, sanity and walk maturely especially because you are a mother now.

    • sha Newbie

      -1 +1

      Jul 29 2013, 20:25
      thank you so much, I truly appreciate it and I know you are absolutely right and I am moving forward regardless of the pain. your words mean so much.. thank you for taking the time to lend good advice..
  • divine Newbie

    -1 +1

    Feb 14 2014, 08:20
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