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Feeling lonely and depressed

Depression

Jul 28 2017, 16:09
  • GetFree Newbie

    -1 +1

    This is my first time using this site, and I feel kind of dumb for making the account but anyway. I recently moved to a new city and have been having a really hard time making friends. There's people at work who are nice, but I just don't know how to open up and get close to anyone! I feel like everyone thinks I'm weird and annoying, but I don't know if that's myself projecting.. my husband has told me so many times before that people want to be my friend and I push them away. I don't feel like I do that though! I try to be friendly and make conversation but nothing sticks, just polite small talk. I never get invited to do anything. I had just a couple close friends in my hometown but that was enough and I had my sister and family. Now I feel like I'm not close with anyone at all anymore. My family doesn't agree with some decisions I've made so it's just awkward with them or I have to be lectured every time we do talk. My parents don't even try to reach out to me hardly so I call my mom and she always seems like inconvenienced by the phone call. I don't know why nobody likes me. I just want someone to talk to. I want to be a good friend and I feel like I have a lot of love to give but nobody wants anything to do with me. I feel so disconnected from everyone, like their living in a completely different world or mindset than me. I have very little in common with people generally. I don't know what's wrong with me. I also think I am dealing with depression because some days I just don't have motivation to do anything. I hate that and want to change but at the same time it's easier to just go to sleep or get high so I can feel ok. I guess I just would like some advice on how to make friends, and why I always shut down and make it impossible to get close to anyone. Also, how often do you do things socially? Do you think it's unhealthy for me to never hang out with friends at all? My only human interaction is with colleagues and my husband and occasionally his friends. But I don't want to ruin his time with the boys so that's only like once a month. I love myself and enjoy my solitude for the most part (I read A LOT), but I feel like I'm becoming a hermit! And I just feel isolated and lost

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