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Anxiety & Panic Disorders

Sep 19 2015, 20:06
  • Kyh Newbie

    -1 +1

    Hi...my name's Kylie and I'm sick of myself. I hate being me. I don't see myself getting to old age and if I do I feel like it's going to be dreadful like it has been up to this point. I feel bad saying this because people have it worse but this is just how i feel. I am afraid of people, being near people, talking to people, making exchanges or taking a simple picture. My anxiety explodes and i've had tremors recently from it more often and I feel paralyzed in my own body. I just don't enjoy being around people I feel that they don't want me around and im not enough I just don't enjoy life like I use to being oblivious. I am very socially awkward and many have called me out for it and not talking enough and it just hurts I don't know how to BE and live and it makes me not want to live I feel just on the edge of becoming suicidal but im not there yet. Please someone help me...i've been on medications for a few years now but after it wears off at night it doesnt matter or like right now it doesnt matter at all and a higher dose would just cover it up but I want to fix it...It stems from me being a people pleaser and wanting people to like me which Im almost over...I just don't like being around people but I need to to survive they're everywhere...I can't even get away from people because I'm a person myself and im just discusted by me and I don't see myself getting anywhere in life because of this. I've been bullied/rejected by people/friends in the past and thats where it comes from too...I just feel so hurt and I wish there was a way I could live in peace and not in a nightmare trying to run from myself.
  • Kyh Newbie

    -1 +1

    Sep 19 2015, 20:10
    and I tried therapy but I was too uncomfortable going through with it because I didn't want to talk to anyone ...I can only type my feelings because I have trouble speaking too at times...I just don't want anymore bad relationships. I want them to be meaningful but I come off fake because I am since I don't wanna be there but I do.
    • Amee100 Newbie

      -1 +1

      Aug 13 2016, 18:39
      Hello Kyh, I know you posted this a year ago and you might not respond, but I suffer from anxiety as well and I also have depression. I don't know where you got yours from, but mine stems from childhood bullying and having no support. I came here looking for help, but this thread seems useless and I can tell because no one has replied to your thread and no one wants to listen anymore unless money is involved. I think the first step to helping someone with any sort of mental ailment is to read about it and then find someone who does listen who is genuine and that's easier said than done, but if you come back, I am here to listen as best I can.
  • Mara Newbie

    -1 +1

    May 10 2018, 13:43
    I totally understand what you mean, I go through the same thing every day and if you ever want to talk, I'm here, you don't have to be anything else other than yourself.

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