Create a new thread

List of Categories

Welcome to our Support Forum

The Truth No One Wants To Believe

Abuse

Mar 25 2014, 11:19
  • Reneelove95 Newbie

    -1 +1

    Last night, I finally admitted what had been happening to me since I was 8 years old. My older sister would touch me and tell me it was a game we were playing. By the time I was 12 I knew exactly what were actually doing it wasn't a game. I told her to stop many times, but she wouldn't. I tried to not let it happen anymore. It stopped for a year.. A year of peace . Only to begin again when I was 13..then it continued till I was 17. At 17, I decided it was time to put a stop to her pattern. I didn't want to be a victim anymore. So at 18 which is the age I am right now. I decided I wouldn't be quiet anymore. She's 21 right now. I decided to tell my parents about what she had been doing.
    My parents didn't believe me at first...then my sister tried saying I started it all and that it was when I was 12 not 8 that it started. I blocked it out for so long..now my mom believes my sister and my dads not home right now. I wish someone was on my side. I'm trying to tell the truth, why won't they believe me? My mom is now pretending like nothing happened. My parents want me to apologize to my sister and make it right with her. How can I do that? I hate her. Every single day flash backs of the times she'd touch me haunt me. I dream about it. I'm scared she's going to hurt me. I don't know what to do. I hate myself and everything has just changed. I remember everything.
  • JohnaSnow Newbie

    -1 +1

    May 14 2014, 14:41
    The abuse is not your fault. Your family are scared of the truth that's why they deny it. They don't know how to deal with it, so instead of seeking professional help, they tried to sweep it under the rug with an "apology."

    It's VERY likely that your sister was also being sexually abused at the same time as she abused you. This might be what she is scared of being open about... because she may fear that if they believe you, she will have to report her abuser too.

    You do NOT have to apologise to your sister, tell her a fake apology, "I'm sorry you felt upset at my accusations." That's it, what you've done there is imply to her you are sorry that she feels a certain way but you are not responsible for making her feel this way.

    What your parents and family are doing is a cover up tactic.... they think if they sweep it under the rug, they won't have to deal with the "scary" emotions involved.

    I know you are scared, this is a natural response to being/feeling vulnerable. You have done nothing wrong and I am sorry your family have failed you.

    Do not internalise your emotions. That shame, guilt and disgust you're feeling... it doesn't belong to you, it belongs to your abuser, that's why she had to deny the truth.

    Do you have someone you trust that you can talk to? Someone that will treat you with respect? Do you feel safe talking to a counselor at college/school/covered on your work insurance perhaps?

    You will be in my thoughts, stay strong. You have done nothing wrong. I believe you, and your family have failed you because they are too scared to deal with the reality of the situation.

    You are a brave person for dealing with all of this on your own.

    You may find it useful to read about the psychological and physiological effects of abuse; if you know what's happening to you, perhaps you may be able to cope better. Stay strong <3

Please register/login to post!