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someone always has it worse

Abuse

Nov 7 2013, 10:59
  • earthchild Contributor

    -1 +1

    i was sexually abused when i was a child. once (that i remember) when i was between 3 and 6(ish) and once between 8 and 12 (?) by 2 different people. i don't remember all of it, and even though i have memory gaps and there could be more (repressed memories), these COULD be isolated incidents.

    i was also in an abusive relationship for a year and a half, with a meth addict that was 10 years older than me when i was 17. it was emotionally abusive, he was always yelling at me and putting me down. sexually abusive i'm not sure, because i didn't fight it. i was too scared to. he only ever got physical with me once, and that was just pushing me down on the bed. that was the only time i ever stood up to him. my best friend (at the time) told me that yes it was sexual abuse (borderline rape?) and yes he was abusive. she told me that he WOULD have beat me if i had resisted, but she said that i was just making the best of a bad situation by cooperating. so i know it could have been worse.

    that's my point. it could have been worse. compared to some of the other stories i've read, my experiences are nothing. i feel like i shouldn't even be making a big deal about it, because somebody else always has it worse. just about EVERYBODY has had it worse. so i feel like my problems are unimportant, and that it should be easier for me to get over it because (to my knowledge) it wasn't THAT bad.
  • H Newbie

    -1 +1

    Nov 18 2013, 18:16
    My Mama had a saying that she taught me that my Grandaddy taught her, "No matter how bad you think things are for you. All's you gotta do is look around you and you'll find someone else who has it worse".
    Well I'm now 23 and have been through some challenges that have made me view things in a different way. My belief is now that even though it may seem like someone else has it worse than another person, in reality if u looked at both situations under a microscope (sorta speak) than what you'd find is that both situations are equal but the two different people are just living two different types of painful experiences. For instance one may be dealing with being physically abused in some way while the other is dealing with mental problems such as schizophrenia.
    Anyways as i think about my dysfunctional family (which from what i know about the generations before me has been dysfunctional for at least a couple of generations back!) ,I now believe that what my grandaddy meant by his saying that "someone else has it worse", was really just one more method they used to sweep things under the rug.
    In my family there r many things that were and are continually being swept under rugs! One thing in particular that was swept under a rug is that my Mama was molested growing up as were my aunts. When my mama told her mama (my Grandmama) about it she got told that "good girls dont do that" & dont "tell ur daddy". So under that rug it went & there it stayed for a long time. but as my mama got older the pain and trauma it caused her remained. She lacked self- respect and let men use her sexually, often for nothing more than a couple of dollars or a ride home. She was married many times and every single relationship was toxic.
    My point is earthchild, that nobodies' problems are unimportant! We all feel! And if there is one thing that i've learned so far its that sweeping things under rugs doesnt get rid of that thing it just hides it away for awhile and then it comes back agaAIN and again!
    I realize that i dont know u or very much about your situation (only what you posted here) But I beg u to look after yourself & do what you need to do to gain confidence & To never allow any man (or person for that matter)to touch u or treat u in a way that u dont want!
    Love yourself okay! :)

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