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Grief, Loss & Survivors

Support Group Summary from our Therapist (What is a support group?)

Updated on Oct 19 2010

We cannot grieve under pressure! Many of my clients who have faced significant losses feel that their family and friends are putting pressure on them to return to 'normal' functioning, this pressure has clients feeling afraid and panicked. When clients ask me how long it will take them to grieve their loss I respond 'how long is a piece of string'? I do know this, grieving is like driving through a tunnel, we can stop ahead of the tunnel, reluctant to enter the darkness and confinement, we can distract ourselves with the view or satiate the senses, but at some point we must enter the tunnel or negotiate the widerness with its perils and unmarked path, if we are to get to our destination. The journey through the tunnel is lonely and dark, and seems to have no end. At some point we see a glimmer of light and our spirits lift, we embrace the light with eyes trying to adjust, only to see another tunnel, a shorter one just ahead. This time we are not as afraid, knowing our strenghts to navigate the darkness, trusting that the light will again meet us at the end. This is what grieving looks like, sad as we feel adjusting to our loss, it is in suffering that we grow. It is an inevitable part of life and when we comfort others, we should be present emotionally and impose no expectation on them to bypass the tunnel or shorten their journey. Please share your experiences of your loss or your support of someone else in their loss.
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