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Divorce & Separation

Support Group Summary from our Therapist (What is a support group?)

Updated on Oct 17 2010

Increasingly couples who decide on divorce are becoming more mindful of their role as parents in this situation and seek professional help to process their own hurt and establish what effective co parenting looks like for them. It is unfortunate when the the two role models a child looks to for nurturing and guidance are at war with each other. Divorce in and of itself does not destroy the child emotionally, the continued destructive interactions of parents in or out of a marriage can leave a child with high levels of anxiety, depression fuelled by guilt and shame, diminished self confidence and self harming behaviors that may become the basis of a personality disorder. It is essential to work through the children's concerns, fears, feeling of abandonment and guilt. If the parents manage to work through their own pain and commit to effective co parenting, they will model for the children how to resolve conflict without resorting to destructive and maladaptive behaviors. The children learn to recognise that they can feel safe and heard irrespective of the new living arrangements. After all if our parents cannot make us feel safe this world indeed is a scary place when you are seven. Please share your experiences.
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